THE WORLD SHOCKED THAT TIGER WOODS' FIANCEE IS THE TOTALLY UNREGENERATE WHORE WE FIRST REVEALED HER TO BE
"What the fuck I got to lie to YOU for?" asked a visibly enraged CORNHOLIO in response to allegations that his nude photos of WOODS' ho were fucking fake.
YEAHHH....ONE, A-ONE, FUCKING PRIMO PIECE OF POON: COULD THINGS BE ANY FUCKING BETTER?!?!
This past MONDAY, December 1, 2003 on MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME, our own CORNHOLIO gave us some photos of celebrity whore ELIN NORDEGREN. Complete with photographic evidence. Some wag expressed the opinion that the ho in the photo was in fact NOT the aforementioned hot piece of Swedish ass. An opinion we shared with CORNHOLIO. He got very, very quiet and his eyes started looking like the backs of nailheads. He slapped NICKY BALLS, threw this photo (below) on our desk, snatched up his car antenna and hit the streets. We write this as a way to undo the grievous damage we've done to a man of sterling fucking character. And to apologize.
ANSWER: ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT
Now, CORNHOLIO, please come home.
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO...
SHE'S JUST LIKE PARIS HILTON: EXCEPT SHE'S AN OVERWEIGHT MATRON WITH A MOUTHFUL OF SNAGGLE TEETH
PARIS HILTON HERE PHOTOGRAPHED WITHOUT A COCK IN HER MOUTH
I was so fucking hopped up on this PARIS HILTON trip that I thought that a piece of paid pussy might meet the mark just as well as any billionaire pussy could so naturally I traded in the lovely heiress Ho for...MISTRESS LILITH.
NOT A LITHESOME 22 YEAR OLD. NO. NOT AT ALL
Mistress Lilith. Mistress Lilith.
Rolls off the tongue don’t it? Lets see if I could give you an idea of what the very scary, talented Mistress Lilith is all about. Well to begin with, Mistress Lilith specializes in BDSM and yellow teeth and judging from her photo, not necessarily in that order.
You see, Mistress Lilith is what I like to refer to as a Disposable Douche Bag, or a DDB. Outside of the fact that she smells like corn chips and ass, she just isn’t very good at what she does. Well with the exception of the yellow teeth thing ( she is outstandingly proficient at that. But then again, that’s not really skill. It is more like a calling. But I digress.) Enough with the name-calling….
Had you there for a second didn’t I?
Fuck that old bitch, Mistress Lilith is 10 years and 30 pounds from her prime, and that wasn’t very prime either. Now she is just a dowdy fat fuck who screams a lot, smokes Camels and smells like ass and corn chips. Kind of like GRACE SLICK.
Should someone have to pay for that?
NO!
You could visit that talentless pale-faced, yellow-toothed hack at http://ladylilith.com
Let her know how you feel about her. You know, spread the love. A la Eddie Coates, Leila Swan, hey the list goes on and on. Fuck. I love their work so much!!!
JACKO'S QUIET, HOT FUCKING BOY-FILLED THANKSGIVING FUNSTIVAL
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- "What happens here, stays here.--Las Vegas Tourist Board." The beleaguered MICHAEL JACKSON spent the Thanksgiving weekend alone, in a hotel in Las Vegas, with his three kids while SKULLGAME wonders aloud if this creeps anybody else the fuck out as much as it does us?
The pop superstar hired the entire fifth floor at Vegas' Ritz Carlton hotel, where his personal chef served up the Thanksgiving turkey. Meanwhile, the release of Jackson's new video, "One More Chance," has been postponed.
The release has already been pulled from European TV networks and now Sony bosses have announced "it isn't ready" for America either, "what on account of all of these allegations of criminal sexual behavior and what not."
In related news, Jackson's brother Jermaine was forced to flee hordes of reporters at the launch of his AIDS benefit gig in New York -- because they were desperate to quiz him about his sibling's child molestations allegations.
On Monday, Jermaine -- who paid a visit to the United Nations building to promote the Battle of Hope boxing and music event to be held in January in Nigeria -- refused to answer questions about a 12-year-old boy's accusations that his brother molested him after stating that "Michael is like Ghandi. Or Martin Luther King. Or Jesus Christ."
JESUS SAID, "SUFFER THE CHILDREN UNTO ME...."
In the spirit of full disclosure,while it is a documented fact that the be-sandaled Hindu slept with two 14 year old virgins for many years to bolster his no-sex resolve, that he frequently drank his own urine, that Martin Luther King was a serial philanderer, and that Jesus liked to hang with ho's, it seems that NONE of them in fact was ever accused of being a chimp-owning, homosexual predator.
Just in case you were wondering.
