YO VINNIE,
I know you don't think girls read your guys little boy's club but we do. My husband took this photo of me recently in Rio where we visit my family. But my question was is there a way to help my man last longer? And don't suggest those pills from the web because they don't work.--"Leka," San Francisco, CA

Dear StarChild: Last longer? Fuck yeah. Send him to the store for a pack of cigarettes, call STUNT-COCKS-R-US at 650-714-4891, and when he gets back and you are sated beyond all earthly measure, have a smoke on us. Not the answer you were looking for? Well, like bad jokes (VERY much like bad jokes), we've got a million of them.

How about this?

Yank down on his nutsack. Seriously. Nearing ejaculation a man's balls will start riding high on the hog in anticipation of carrying their precious cargo of coconut oil to your lips where it so rightfully belongs. By giving the scrote an authoritative, but GENTLE, you crazy bitch, PULL you force his body to go back to square one.

But here's a little Prank TV skit that will give us hours of amusement if we only even just IMAGINE that you're going to try to pull this one off: FAKE like YOU are going to cum, start screaming "oh fuck the shit out of me!!!", yanking his hair, talking dirty and in general acting like Mt. Fucking Vesuvio and when HE comes like he INEVITABLY will, like 5 fucking seconds after you start doing this shit, say to him: "YOU CAME TOO QUICK AGAIN!!! YOU'RE THE FUCKING WORST LOVER EVER!!!"

Hahahaha.

We love that fucking joke.