ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A JUNKIE STRIPPER, I LOOOOOOOOVVVEEEE YOU!!!!!
I...AM...SO...FUCKING.........HIGH!!!!
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) – NICOLE RICHIE, daughter of THE MOST HORRIBLE SINGER ALIVE: LIONEL RICHIE recently went as batshit as batshit could be in the midst of some godforsakenly misbegotten media hustle, er, FASHION show as part of the JOEY & T show in Los Angeles this week.
NICOLE GREETS CORNHOLIO'S COUSIN SANS CAR ANTENNA
Presently on probation for heroin possession, MS. RICHIE and her erstwhile CAREER, clearly running a race of addictive attrition with JENNA BUSH’s, awaits the all-but-inevitable call from San Fernando Valley.
ITALIAN SAL GOES TO THE MOVIES: THE HUMAN STAIN
In one fell swoop asshole motherfucker and noted white man Director Robert Benton [We let CORNHOLIO edit this bitch.—VINNIE ROSE] managed to not only make a bad movie but pissed off 13 % of the American Population that is Negroid and/or of enlightened sensibilities, in the process. Motherfucker.
While casting an ultra-white, (there is no whiter) British Actor Sir Anthony Hopkins as a BLACK man from New Jersey may be considered Avante Garde by some Hollywood types, 36 million black people tend to disagree, at least in theory, actually, they just disagree, shaking their heads and quietly fingering their firearms.
SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS AS A "NEGRO" WITH HIS TRUSTED FRIEND "CONCHITA" AS PLAYED BY CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL NICOLE KIDMAN
When asked to comment, Steven Jackson a lifelong resident of Curry Woods Projects in Jersey City, New Jersey said: "We have people who look like Mr. Hopkins in the neighborhood but we just call them white people here." Just to make things clear, here at SKULLGAME, we call them white people, too.
In another strange as fuck twist Director Motherfucker Benton cast Connoisseur of African American Males everywhere, NICOLE KIDMAN in the role of the fat Mexican Housekeeper, CONCHITA. A move that has everyone here at SKULLGAME still guessing what the fuck he was thinking and has Mexican guys everywhere pulling their hair out at the root while screaming AYE CARUMBA at the obvious and painfully cruel, cruel joke.
SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS PREPARING FOR HIS NEXT ROLE AS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
When reached for comment regarding his casting Hopkins as a Black man, that Motherfucker Benton said: "We ah, tried to get a black man, ah, for the role, but ah, it seems they were all busy. You know; previous engagements and stuff. Mostly dancing, singing and being, you know, being just HAPPY to be alive like they usually are, in their festive and multicolored overalls and whatnot.”
In Atlanta, Marcellus “Bubba” Jackson, Grand Dragon of the Imperial Knights of the Klu Klux Klan chimed in saying: "This is what we have been talking about for years, we need to see more of this kinda stuff." When asked to elaborate, Jackson stated: "We need to be replacing all these black folks in America with Europeans, preferably, rich British fags. Though we’d gladly take white folks from Eastern Europe too." Jackson, when told that you cannot cast the real life population of America like you would a movie or a TV show, simultaneously scratched his nuts and ass crack and said: "Why not? I met my wife on Jerry Springer."
In a related note Benton Announced that he has cast TOM CRUISE to play TUPAC SHAKUR in his new unauthorized biopic entitled "Where my HO's at!?!" currently in pre-production.
FAT JOKES LED FAT BITCH ANNA NICOLE TO ACTUALLY SHOVE HER FAT ASS AWAY FROM THE BEAR CLAW’S AND LOSE SOME GODDAMNED WEIGHT
IS IT EDIBLE?!?!? YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT IT IS!!!
Zaftig, hey who are we trying to kid?, FAT and Busty PLUS PLUS PLUS SOME MORE-sized model Anna Nicole Smith decided to lose a few unsightly pounds, or 120, because she was fed up with not only pot-stickers, cheesecake, and fried chicken but with bon bons, ice cream, and cheeseburgers, as well as with the constant, cruel, and well-deserved taunts about her prodigious weight.
The voluptuous, hey who are we trying to kid?, FAT blonde, who admits depression over being a FAT blonde led her to overeat and eat and eat, and subsequently gain, if this can be believed, WEIGHT, has shed 50 gelatinous pounds of trembling flesh over recent months, and says she now plans to ensure she's never the target of insensitive jibes again. [Nice try. Oh and by the way: not a chance.—VINNIE ROSE]
She says, "I was really, really, really, really tired of not only BEING fat but of all the inevitable and wearisome fat jokes. The ‘Your mother’s so fat that when she sits around the house she really sits AROUND the house’ ones. The ‘Your mother’s so fat that a cop came up to her and said ‘break it up, break it up.’ The ‘Your mother’s so fat that she went to the movies and sat next to EVERYONE.’ jokes. And I really took a look at myself and was like, 'Wow. I am one fat ass bitch.'"
HELL YEAH, I'LL HAVE THE ECLAIRS!!!
The Texas native, however, remains dissatisfied with her not so quite gargantuan frame and seems well on her way to a whole panoply of eating disorders while saying that she plans to drop even a few more dress sizes.
She explains, "Everyone says I look good but I think I could lose a few more hundred pounds. But I still think I'm struttin'!!! Especially if by ‘struttin’ you mean wobbling and weaving around the buffet table."
