SCOTT WEILAND IS SCOTT FREE!!!

In a move sure to shock the nation, a California court this week found that intransigent opiate abuser and Stoned Temple Pilots’ singer SCOTT WEILAND did NOT need to go to prison to pay his debt to society for a recent arrest on two felony charges of possession of heroin and cocaine. He was arrested May 17th after a police officer pulled him over for allegedly driving without headlights, rear wheels, or a lick of sense, and spotted drugs on the passenger seat, dashboard, back seat, arm rest, ashtray, and steering wheel.

The singer was previously arrested for investigation of cocaine and heroin possession and served jail time in 1999 after repeatedly violating his probation and failing to complete drug rehabilitation programs.

Weiland, 35, of Los Angeles, had pleaded innocent and a judge apparently, high at the time himself, agreed, sentencing Weiland to even more slap-on-the-wrist probation.

When reached for comment ROBERT DOWNEY JR., NICK NOLTE, MARGOT KIDDER and hundreds of NEGROES currently imprisoned said “What the fuck?!?!”.

DRUG FREE AND LOVING IT: I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM...FOR MORE MOTHERFUCKING HEROIN!!!

THE GODDAMNED LETTER BOX: Wherein ASSHOLES Try to Impress Us

IN DEFENSE OF….DEVON!
“You assholes have the balls to print up that bulllshit half rumor about DEVON being fucked up on Vicodin?!?! Fuck you.”—unsigned (by email)

SKULLGAME responds: Yes. We have the balls. Balls that are so BIG that you’d break your neck if you fucking fell off of one.

ME TOO! I'M DRUG FREE TOO!!! HOW FUNNY!!!

AL BORDA AND HITLER: A COMPARATIVE STUDY

“To: lukeford.com
From: Vinnie from SkullGame here...Allan MacD sent me...
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2003 05:27:11 +0000

Heya Scott,
it's Vinnie Rose from www.skullgame.com here. Could you give my grudge match challenge match against asshole Al Borda some play? I've challenged him to a fight on land, sea or in the air and to give him an advantage I promised to get as tanked as possible on K and the guy is STILL ducking me. Hiding. AVN dropped his column. And his place stinks of fear. Ah well....in any case I know you have better things to do than to help me foment dischord and divisiveness but for the life of me I can't imagine what the fuck they would be...

ciao,
Vinnie”

LUKEFORD.COM responds

"Fayner Writes: Vinnie Rose, who runs the web site www.skullgame.com, tells me that he has a serious beef with XXX director Al Borda. Apparently the squabble-loving hooligan Rose issued a fight challenge to Borda.

'I've challenged him to a fight on land, sea or in the air, and to give him an advantage I promised to get as tanked as possible on K, and the guy is still ducking me!'

I'm not sure what the disagreement is over, since I didn't ask. All I do know is that K, also known as Ketamine, is a drug used on animals, and should not be taken by humans. The one time I did snort it, I narrowly escaped being raped by a man in a speedo at some hotel in Miami Beach.

I got a ten spot on the crazed druggie."

SKULLGAME responds: That's the smart fucking money talking there, paisan.

HOUSTON HAS A “DISEASE”

“From: J Harris
To: vinnie@skulllgame.com
Subject: Houston
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 2003 15:42:09 -0700 (PDT)

I was hired by a company out of So. CA to investigate some medical test results of a client. As it turns out the test came back positive and now I must find his wife whom is in the adult entertainment industry. Juliane Walsh aka Houston, Aaron, Sinderella. This is most important so please forward this if any name sounds familiar or contact me via e-mail so I can forward my #. I have already contacted agencies in Las Vegas and So.Cal. The above named individual is not in trouble she has to be made aware of some situations

Sincerely,
Jack Harris

SKULLGAME responds: So HOUSTON has a “disease”? And here we were just thinking she was a TRANNY this whole time. We’ll help in anyway we can with your investigation especially if by help you mean “play golf like OJ.”

YOU'LL KEEP TELLING YOURSELF: SHE'S NOT A MAN, SHE'S NOT A MAN, SHE'S NOT A MAN....

THIS IS WHY THE BRITS ARE INSANE

“BEAUTY IS TRUTH?
Hi, I thought I'd inflict this picture upon you fine gentlemen, as I couldn't bear the idea that I would be the only one to have nightmares of the ginger haired and chronically sagging type. She is a minor celebrity in the UK. –Kenn (by email)

SKULLGAME responds: Holy Mother of God…this woman is so, so, sooooooo......fucking SEXY that Italian Sal says he will fuck her immediately.

OH YEAH. OH YEAH. SEXY SENIOR CITIZEN. WE'RE ALLLLL OVER THAT.