PIMPING HOS AND CLOCKING A GRIP LIKE HIS NAME WAS DOLOMITE
Lighting cigars with the crumpled wreckage of former employees, Ohio-born, California-residing, running for Governor handicapped pornographer Larry Flynt laughed all the way to the bank as he withdrew $3500 of the MILLIONS and MILLIONS he possesses to pay for his application fee.
"I was a poor mountaineer who could barely keep his family fed," said Flynt. "But then one day when I was hunting for some food, well up from the ground came bubbling crude. Oil that was. Black gold. Texas tea."
MY NAME IS ELMER J. FUDD. I OWN A MANSION AND A YACHT.
Well the next thing he knew Ol' Larry was a millionaire and the kin folks said "well Larry get the fuck out of here." They said "Californie is the place you ought to be so they loaded up the truck and they bought more than $1 million in real estate in West Hollywood, Hustler Casinos (the Gardena cardroom) and Hustler Entertainment stores in San Diego and West Hollywood, as well as $400 million in other holdings."
Granny could not be reached for comment press time.
KOBE BRYANT VERSUS DARREL GHOLAR: A COMPARATIVE STUDY
Gholar recently fucked this Brazilian babe in his condo at the Copacabana on the beach at Ipanema.
TALL AND TAN AND YOUNG AND LOVELY SHE FLEES KOBE BRYANT NONETHELESS
Bryant, despite trying desperately to sodomize her, has thusfar not been able to.
Next issue: WHERE WILL THIS PLUNDERING ASS ATTACKER STRIKE NEXT?!?!!?
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO:
PC BOOTY CALL, CALLING!!!
I didn’t say you had to fuck for that money! You just have to get it any way you can.
It's like you gave a pimp an actuary table and a car antenna.
“You best get me my Money!” Indeed.
PCBootyCall.com it seems is the natural progression of the Internet because the most lucrative of all venues for Pornography and all things “adult” has taken it one step further: Picking out your whore online and bidding for her services amongst a community of like-minded horndogs. It's very similar to a merger between HAL from “2001 a Space Odyssey” and Uber Pimp Don the Magic Juan in an “Ebay for Ho’s.” Or at least I think it said something like that in their Press kit.
PCBootycall with useful features like a rate-your-mate page helps you figure out, through a complex equation of ass slaps and nut sacks, whether or not you're getting your moneys worth in your relationship.
“Ho! I will bury this foot in yo ASS!”
It's actually quite simple: you punch in the amount of money you spend on dates, the amount of time invested in the relationship and the frequency of fucking, then you twist a knob, turn a crank and, SURPRISE, you have a ratio of dollars to dicking. This helps you decide whether or not to continue a wonderful nurturing relationship, fuck someone new every other night, or hire your fun. “Hmmmmm. I wonder which I will choose.”
A LOAF OF BREAD, A JUG OF WINE, A CAR ATTENNA, AND THOU.
The interface is extremely user friendly and above all much safer than picking somebody up on a street corner because you are better able to avoid getting hooked in with a Trannie. For the most part at least. I kid of course since it seems you can actually be quite choosey when picking the type of skank you want--hair color, eye color, amount of money you're willing to spend--you punch all that in and the Database-O-Ho’s gives you some names and contact info. I can’t promise the bitch you pick will blow your mind but I can guarantee you three things about PCBootyCall.com:
1. This Bitch comes Pimp Free, so you won’t have to worry about her, OR YOUR getting whipped with a Car Antenna.
2. She will not be a Transsexual… Possibly… Most likely not… Hopefully. I’m just kidding. Unless you request a she male. This will be a 100% Woman.
3. You will have a great time surfing this website.
Tell you what: you go look at http://www.pcbootycall.com.
Because the alternative is wearing a big purple hat, a cape and waving a car antenna while screaming “Ho! I will bury my foot in yo ASS!”
