The VINSTER is in fucking France. All over goddamned France and Europe. But specifically like in Lyon right now to be exact. Just the kind of place where they recognize the big cock, the value of it, and the worth of imbuing the holder of it with a whole raft of superhuman qualities such as the ones that I currently now fucking possess a la my sporting of world class cock, my ability to fuck like, well, like something that fucks really well, and my linguistic skill that moreover begets the frequent use of phrases like “a la”.

VINNIE ROSE is the goddamned porn equivalent of James Bond. A goddamned guinea secret agent and for the next week or so you’re going to hear all the fuck about it.

“I fucking HATE Europe.” Olivia is sitting across from me at some bar gaily festooned with beach umbrellas as barshades.

“Why?”

“There’s nothing to do there.”

“What? What the fuck do you mean there’s nothing to do there?!?! What did you do when you were there anyway?”

“Mostly sat around hotels.”

“Well that was your goddamned problem, baby. You gotta get out there and, uh, fucking FRATERNIZE with the natives.”

And that’s exactly what the fuck we’re doing.

IF HENRI PACHARD SAYS IT IS SO THEN IT MUST BE SO

We’re fucking geniuses.

I mean if you believe the fucking French. Or if you believe a guy who says he's French. Henri Pachard to be precise. He says we're goddamned geniuses.

Well we knew that all along.

NOTE: Our balls are big not because of elephantitis but because we KNOW what the fuck we're talking about and you KNOW that.

NOTE: GET US SOME PACHARD MOVIES SO WE CAN SEE IF THIS OPINION IS WORTH A PISS POT.

NOTE: It's hard to take a picture when your palms are on the floor.

NEXT RANT: DRUNK, DRUNK, FUCK, AND MORE FUCKING....AND OUR SEARCH FOR ROCCO SIFFREDI!!!