Yo Vinnie,
I spit on my cock before putting it in and she says, "ewwww...." She won't let me fuck her in the ass. And she likes ass fucking. I eat her pussy and get her underwear wet from not pulling it fully aside and she gets pissed off. She makes me spend the night and will only let me fuck her in the morning. What the fuck is it with white bitches? -- Susso (by email)

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO BE WHITE. AND A BITCH, WE SALUTE YOU!!!

Dear MR. SUSSO: White bitches? What the fuck is your question?!?! IS it even a question? I see nothing there that's questionable at all. WHITE and BITCHES go together like chocolate in your peanut butter. Misplaced sense of entitlement, over-valued sense of self, huffy, touchy, and self-involved this virtually describes almost every single broad who grew up with Friends and Sex In The City as lesson guides on how to end up lonely. And bitchy. And I know it's a fucking contagious disease as well. Foreign women, a former source of pussy unspoiled by a belief in the inviolability of everything that might come out of their pieholes, start catching the disease the moment they land on American soil due to the overweening commercial interest in having American sluts believe that "THEY ARE WORTH IT". In fact, American interests are readily trying to export this pandemic priggishness all over the face of this green globe turning women worldwide into ball-busting haters of everything cock.

Possible solutions? Third world bitches. Without visas.

In YOUR slut's defense: the NEED to spit, to get you to spend the night, the not taking the time to take the panties off before eating the pussy and even the ass fucking seem to all point to you either needing to spend more time with her or more quality time with her.

And why would you fucking do THAT?

Color me fucking STUMPED.