Yo Vinnie,
I've become unusually sensitive to smells lately. I can smell dirty pussy from across a room. A chick's on her period? I can smell it. Doggy style? Like I have my nose IN her ass. Am I turning fag? -- Smelly Smell, (by email)

"JESUS! I CAN SMELL HER FUCKING ASS ALL THE WAY FROM HERE..."

Dear JIMMY DURANTE: Don't know nearly enough yet. Have you been struck on, or about, the head lately? By anybody who works here? If so, you might have a real neurological problem and we wouldn'ta done it if you hadn't, um, you know, well, if you didn't do that thing with your eye and the blinking and shit. But we had a friend who was struck with a wrench in the head. Couldn't smell a fucking thing after that. He hated it. Couldn't taste his dinner. Didn't know if the food he was eating was rotten or not. So maybe you got that. Just in reverse.

If NOT though, yes, you are right, we suspect faggotry.

However, we DO note that you don't say that you don't like stinky bitches. So maybe this is a win-win. You really LIKE smelly bitches and none of the rest of us DO and so you're taking those unfamiliar with personal hygiene out of the possible pieces of pussy we might stumble across, whilst leaving us free to poke the ones that have seen the business end of a bathtub.

Beautiful.