YO VINNIE,
I was going to bang this girl. Went through great expense to bang this girl. GREAT expense. And she calls me the night before I was supposed to bang this girl to tell me that a friend of hers died in a motorcycle accident and she was going to have to reschedule. Am I wrong for calling her "a fucking stupid slut"? -- Remi (by email)

SURE. SURE...HOW DO YOU THINK MY LOAD FEELS?!?!?

Dear MR. MARTIN: Wrong?!? You mean as INSENSITIVE wrong?!? Well, yes. You were. As it seems, according to ITALIAN SAL, the correct turn of phraseology was "you fucking fat, stupid slut." You see? It's all the difference in the world. If the God is in the details in suchlike matters as these it can be seen quite clearly that his way shows a much greater understanding of the chasm that needs to be bridged between men and women today. Namely, the answer to the question: does anything take precedence over YOU dropping a load with her able and forestatedly guaranteed assistance and the answer is NO. But WWTIAD (What Would The Italian Army Do)? Well, during the 1st Gulf War whilst rushing to a battle they'd frequently stop for lunch on the way to a battle. Why? Because the battle was STILL gonna be there after lunch. Likewise, that dead guy is still going to be dead no matter what kind of ass action she throws at you and so the way is clear: she must throw ass action at you like ass action is going out of style. Wha?!?! She doesn't FEEL like it?!?! Well, you know, we don't really feel like fucking fat broads either but we do it anyway. Yes. We do.