YO VINNIE,
I show up at my girlfriend's apartment and I find her washing graffiti off of the front of her building. I ask her what the fuck she's doing and she answers that she's been getting weird phone calls (?!?). I think nothing of it until one day I'm dropping her off and just the way the sun is hitting where she had been washing I can see that what she had been washing off were the letters W, H, O, R, E. What the fuck? -- What's It Mean? (by email)

"MY...MY...MY GIRL IS A GRONKIE!?!?!" YES, DAVE DIETRICH, WE'RE AFRAID SHE IS.

Dear Last2Know: It means your girlfriend is a fucking WHORE. What? We gotta spell it out for you too?!?!? OK. W-H-O-R-E. Your fucking G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D. Cash. For fucking. I mean presumably there were at least a few other women living in that building too, right? And not a single one of them took it as a personal message or call to action for THEM did they? Didn't see them down there with the Ajax applying handjob levels of elbow grease to getting that shit offa there, now did you? Fuck no. She ain't the landlord is she? Fuck no. She have lots of unexplained income and no discernible job? Fuck yeah? Congratulations, sir, your woman is a whore. An honorable, and one of the oldest, professions in the world. And one that we fully support. Usually $40 at a time. Usually when you ain't home.