PARIS HILTON’S INTEREST IN THE KABBALAH NOT HALTING AMERICAN PUBLIC’S INTEREST IN HER COCK IN MOUTH VID
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) – PARIS HILTON, star of stage and silver screen, is starting the New Year on a spiritual note after becoming the latest celebrity to try to crawl into heaven through the eye of a fucking needle by way of a conversion to the Kabbalah faith in hope that it will put her cavalcade of cock behind her. Waaayy behind her.
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW TO STOP SUCKING COCK ON VIDEO IS HERE IN THIS BOOK
The 22-year-old hotel heiress reportedly signed up for teachings in Los Angeles' Kabbalah Center, where the still-not-filmed-with-a-cock-in-her-mouth MADONNA and the only-filmed-with-a-simulated-cock-in-her-mouth DEMI MOORE are said to be regulars, last month.
THE KABBALAH HAS KEPT COCKS OUT OF MY MOUTH
MINE TOO!!! THOUGH I AM NOTING HILTON'S NIELSEN NUMBERS AND WONDERING IF A COCK IN THE MOUTH MIGHT BE JUST THE THING I NEED RIGHT ABOUT NOW
Hilton, who ended 2003 with vid of her fucking, sucking, fucking some more and even answering the phone between aforementioned fucking and sucking, was given the religion's signature red string bracelet, which is supposed to fall off when the wearer is purged of negativity. However, in an irony of ironies, the bracelet reportedly fell off after just one day of frantic cock handling.
GODDAMNED BOOZEHOUND BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS DRUNK AS SHIT
“Fuck,” says her spokeswoman. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) – Popslut BRITNEY SPEARS' valiant struggle for continued significance in a world that’s only interest is in seeing video of her with a cock in her mouth, has lived up to her party-girl reputation on New Year's Eve by getting so fucking drunk that she had to be carried out of a nightclub.
OH YESH, YESH...SNOGRO...MSINIAP... HMM...SHITS, EIT ME!!!
The hitmaker was partying with friends at Las Vegas's Rain nightclub, where the 22-year-old drank so much Cristal, she pissed it, according to SkullGame’s CORNHOLIO, who was there.
"Britney was drinking loads at dinner,” said the reveling Negro and editor-at-large for MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME. “When the meal was over she and her friends went to the Ghost Bar, which is at the top of the hotel to see in the New Year.
"Basketball star KOBE BRYANT was there against his attorney IRON MICHAEL TYSONWITZ'S express orders. Those goddamned HILTON ho’s were in the bar too. Afterward Britney went to Rain, which is also in the hotel, and carried on partying with her friends. She must have drunk at least three bottles of that fucking 5 bill a bottle shit.
FUCK YOU!!! I'M PERFECTLY FINE TO DRIVE!!! NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS THE STEERING WHEEL ON THIS THING?!?
"Anyways at one point one of her friends appeared to have passed out and was taken out of the club to be subsequently trained by my boys in the Beemer SUV rental. But Britney, she stayed. Much to their sorrow. A while later there was a bit of a commotion and I saw Britney's bouncer motherfuckers clearing the way.
"Then I saw her being carried out of the back entrance. It was obvious the people she was with didn't want anyone to see what was going on. But if I seen one drunk bitch being carried out the back door I seen 1000."
NOT TO BE OUTDONE CHLOE SEVIGNY DOES HER OWN COCK-IN-MOUTH FILM
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) – In a SkullGame exclusive, Serious Actress [Patent Pending] CHLOE SEVIGNY has denied reports she was dumped by the William Morris Agency after sucking actual cock on screen -- saying it was she who ended their association.
I AM A STAR AND I SUCK COCK
The 29-year-old star, shocking critics and audiences alike with her vigorous cock guzzling in VINCENT GALLO’s movie "Brown Bunny," said she found her sucking of the controversial director’s schlong artistically significant and important for her art, so much so that she made the decision to end her eight-year business relationship with William Morris to go to a firm that understood her need to suck, suck, suck as much cock as possible on film to be taken serious as a Serious Actress [patent pending].
Her spokesperson Amanda Horton tells SkullGame, "After being represented by William Morris for eight years, last summer, Ms. Sevigny decided that she no longer wished to be represented by an agency that understood ass-kissing much better than it did cock sucking.”
AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK I WILL BLOW....YOU...A KISS.
"At no time did William Morris try and 'drop' Ms. Sevigny, as any official representative from William Morris would tell you if they weren't all off on vacation and sucking cock somewhere."
