YO VINNIE,
My girl is a nymphomaniac. Yeah yeah, I know you will make jokes but fuck you it's not funny. I mean after you've fucked her as many times as you can humanly stand to. After you've done everything you can think of to have to fuck someone who acts like you didn't just fuck is a drag. I know I could lose a good thing here but maybe I'm better off since I just, really, can't keep up. What would you suggest I do?--J.H., San Francisco, CA (by email)

Dear Johnny Fontaine: Well, first I'd start slapping the FUCK outta your face like Don Corleone in The Godfather and tell you like Brando did, "start acting like a man!!!" It's guys like you that ruin it for guys like us.

QUICK!!! IMMEDIATE MOUTH TO COCK RESUSCITATION!!!

I mean out of ALL the things you might be able to think of to do with a hot pussy like that that can't get enough of fucking is to want to break up with her??!?! Where you live boy? Wha?!? San Francisco?!!? OK. Say no more. Listen, what you do is this: get the men at MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME involved. I say this for one reason and one reason only: it takes a village to keep a pussy like that busy and keeping it busy is the proper order of the day. A pussy like that will leave ONE man, especially a man like yourself, um, fucking BEREFT. A pussy like that is TOO powerful for one man alone. Share your burden brother. We're here for you.

OK. Now Group Hug. OK. Let's let the fucking commence!!!