YO VINNIE

I’m straight. But I really get off on the idea of being beaten by a man. Beaten and beaten while I jerk off until I come. Is this normal? Maybe a better question is, does this make you gay?—R.S., San Francisco, Ca (by email)

Dear Mr. Heidi Fliess: Does it make ME gay?!? Fuck no, it doesn’t. I mean outside of the weird tingly feelings I got just reading your letter, I’d have to say no. I mean NO. I mean I guess no. I mean if you made me GAY just by reading your letter I’m going to fucking kill you. But I think you meant does it make YOU gay? Well let’s do away with this notion in its entirety that anyone can be MADE gay. You can be made STUPID but not gay. So when do you face up to the fact that you are probably indisputably gay? When your fantasy becomes a cock-in-the-mouth reality. Until then, good luck laboring on under the illusion that you’re straight.