http://www.frugaljohn.com/

Living it up, living it up, oh yeah, it’s Friday night.

And there you are at home. With nary a thing to eat, fuck or fight. What to do, what to do? Well yeah sure. There's always the booty call option but in the immortal words of Charlie Sheen when asked why he went to hookers when he could have had anybody he said, "I don't pay for them to come over. I pay for them to leave." And so it is that on a Friday night a young man's thoughts turn to the fancy of love, except that love too fucking fancy can set you back more than a bit.

Enter Frugal John, where getting glossed with the appellation CHEAP WHORE is not entirely bad for your career. Recommended to us, strangely enough, by a guy named JOHN, Frugal John is the place to go for a piece when you don't want to go broke doing so.

How the fuck do we know? Well, like Consumer Reports, we recommend you stick your cock in NOTHING that we haven't already stuck our cocks in (excepting that goddamned Orick vacuum cleaner) and so, in the name of journalistic integrity, we expensed a trip to Ms. Shannon. Was she worth it? Goddamned right! Every $200 of it. In fact we quantified it and figured that was $1 a stroke. Good bang for the buck, jack. Go ahead. And tell them that Vinnie sent you.

"I FUCKED VINNIE. AND HAVE BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES EVER SINCE!" THEY ALL DO, BABY. THEY ALL DO.