YO VINNIE,
One of the last times I hung out with some dude who I was supposedly decent friends with, I left a bunch of penthouses, I've read their perfect 10s etc. Then they started to blow me off for a while, finally got ahold of them. I get this bullshit about they don't want to talk to me anymore, they cant trust me (which is bullshit, being that I've never had to lie about anything, I'm fucking sincere). Err anyway, after their rant about how they're anti-me now, I asked "well, if you are gonna be like that can I at least have my magazines back?"- "I'm just gonna give you the finger" I'm not sure what kind of bee is up his ass. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact I won't fuck him, and he's somewhat of an egotist... anyway I just want my damn nudie mags back. or should i just give up?--R.H. (by email)

IFUCNRDIS. What the hell? I mean what the hell? I had to read your letter like three times before I decided to run it unedited and with the proviso that any answer I would give you would have to be translated into Maniac before it'd probably make sense to you. That notwithstanding I will say here for the record that you should spare no expense or effort in getting back your porno mags. These are a highly valuable resource and any asshole who would deprive you of the necessary visual adjuncts to your various flights of fancy should be wounded.

Thanks for asking.