Vinnie!
I am interested in having sex with women who are amputees, preferably their legs. Is there a support club for this? I am sure there must be a ton of legless women out there who are hornier than hell.—LMK, Toronto, CAN

Paul McCartney:
I had this friend once. Name of Jake Action. Now Jake figured to rejigger the odds in his favor and would go over to the Insane Asylum on release day and offer rides to all of the lunatic women sitting and waiting for the bus. His success rate was very high. I mean even if he kidnapped them and fucked them while wearing a pig mask or something like that, he was in the clear because well I mean who would believe him anyway. This absolutely not a single fucking thing to do with you, my stump fucking friend, except to remind you that somewhere and somehow there’s got to be a fucking lock that fits your strangely bent key and if it’s anywhere it’ll be here at http://ladyamp.netfirms.com/guidebook.html.