What? Jerk off to more fucking videos than any one human being would even DARE to.

Hours and hours.

And hours.

It all started innocently enough. Well we'll just watch a bit of it just to make sure it's, um, LEGIT. Well we'll just watch the next scene to make sure it's hot. Fuck. I'm not going to make court anyways I might as well settle in a bit just to make sure I'M NOT GETTING RIPPED OFF. Six hours later, stained, used and fucking ready for a nap, you have a thought: THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY. Well there's not really but this is going to be like the Zagat's guide to Zooch. The Bible for Bongo. The Puller's Pamphlet for Porn.

THE FIRST JESUS CHRIST MOMENT OF THE DAY: Is there an especially compelling reason why CYNARA FOX is not calling me at this moment begging to let The Rose throw her a prick? I didn't think so.

WHOSE NAME WILL I PICK OUT AT RANDOM FOR A DESIGNATED ASS-KICKING FOR WHEN WE NEXT MEET:

Well I love Skeeter Kerkove, I mean just for the name alone, but when he starts calling out fans to fucking duke it, I gotta step in. I mean that's like goddamn copyright infringment. So I tell you what we're going to do: we're going to accept ALL of Kerkove's challenges. You want to fight him, you fight us first. And in return, by way of payment, all Skeeter has to do is fight us once. On video. That will air anytime some of youse fucking cazzos want a go. The Rose has spoken.

IF THERE'S A BETTER VIDEO THEN WE HAVEN'T FUCKING SEEN IT:

File these under
WHY MY FAITH IN HUMANITY HAS BEEN RESTORED TO ITS FORMERLY TOTALLY LOW LEVEL OF APPRAISAL

A list of random great videos.

IF THERE'S A WORSE VIDEO THEN WE HAVEN'T FUCKING SEEN IT:

A list of shit and decent alternatives.