YO VINNIE,
First she says she wants to know EVERYTHING. Then I tell her everything and she gets angry, fucks a few of my friends to "even up" that anything and we start again. So now I tell her nothing and she accuses me of withholding and she gets angry, fucks a few of my friends and doesn't tell ME about it... to even us up again. I want to dump her but can't help feeling like I'm missing out on a good thing. What to do? -- Damned (by email)

JESUS. I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM. WELL THAT JUST ABOUT SETTLES IT. I'M SUCKING EVERYONE'S COCK NOW.

Dear If You Do, Damned If You Don't: The SkullGame Dictum NUMBER FUCKING ONE? You've forgotten it already? Take ANY pussy you're being offered regardless of the terms. Her terms? Paradoxical zen-like requirements for a type of fidelity that's obviously a gateway to her and your friend's cocks. Your terms? Her spread wide pussy.

You see? So fucking simple.

As long as she's saying YES, she's not to be dumped...with the following provisos:

1) do not spend a fucking red cent (excepting possibly the gas to get you to aforementioned hole)

and

2) she's not interfering in your ability to get to other holes by like, well, say, cutting off your cock.

Outside of these, live it and love it baby. So to answer your question about what to do: get in the hole as many times as you can, listen to NOTHING she says, and if you do listen take NONE of it seriously. I mean you know how when you were 16 and thought you knew everything? And then you got to be 30 and realized what a tool you were? Well American women are, due to Oprah, The View and the Lilith Festival, permanently stuck in this state. For-fucking-ever.

So take the pussy and run, leaving all the rest of it behind to be dealt with by that other letter-writing sub-genre: "guys who are too nice."