YO VINNIE,
You'll never find someone as cool as me. Why can't you see that? So you like that French bitch more and don't even seem bothered by the fact that she makes her living as A PROSTITUTE! Maybe that's it. Maybe the idea that she sucks old men off for MONEY is what does it to you. Good luck kissing that. All I was asking for from you was a chance and all I asked for that night was just a little explanation about where this thing was going and all I GOT from you was no more phone calls and when I finally called from a number you didn't recognize, you answered and told me to relax. WELL I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO RELAX IF YOU HAD CALLED ME BACK. Anyway, I just wanted to say, Fuck You. -- Antoinette (by email)

TEXT BOOK DEFINITION: SAD, NOT FUNNY. NO, NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

Dear I HAVE ONE CAT TOO MANY FOR A WOMAN IN HER LATE 40s: I love how women will try to enjoin you in their player hating by, for example, looking at some bitch who is boned up to the 9's for a night out--tits out to here, ass bangity banging--and your broad will say something like "don't you just HATE women like that?" And you're like, "you mean 25 year old bitches with tits like honeydews melons, asses that taste like peaches, and pussies tighter than pharmaceutical bottles? Don't I just HATE women like that? Oh. Yes. Of course I do, dear." You gotta be kidding me. Listen, baby, your pink slip didn't get slipped because of the French ho. You got served because you got six fucking cats, house plants that you fucking TALK to, and an inability to cut your fucking toe nails. Thanks for writing. And to quote Italian Sal, "Good luck with all of that."