LOVERS CAUGHT ON TAPE? REALLY? DOING WHAT?!?! OUTSIDE OF BUSTING EACH OTHER'S BALLS?!?!

WITH SOME HOCUS POCUS, YOU'RE IN FUCKING FOCUS.

This is definitely a mixed bag bid. Mixed because while the tape is exactly what that genius piece of good bad shit I reviewed from last week promised -- couples fucking and sucking like they was alone, only they ain't, because the Camera of God is there too -- they make you sit through a goddamned infomercial to get to it. I mean if I'm going to wade through all of that before I can get to fucking coconut time, well I might as well be at that seminar where youse learned all of this goddamned bullshit you're trying to use to crowbar me into buying what I really want to buy anyway.

Jesus Christ, Mr. Fucking Amway man, you're selling PORN. It sells its goddamned self!!!!

NOTE: Crack Dealers do not have motivational seminars.

So while the veneer of that whole schmear of legit like talk might work on those daytime TV assholes, you can save us here. Because here we want to get to go as fast as our fists will take us.

Lucky for you the vid is BRILLIANT. Taxi Cab Confessions but with just the drunken, cum-fueled coozes who will stop at nothing in their mission to extract fine fluids from their gentleman caller's bodies in elevators, parking garages and a host of other places where those who believe they are unseen are being seen by security guards with cameras. And erections.

HUZZAHS!!!!