YO VINNIE,
My new Costa Rican boyfriend, who I'll call MIKE, has a friend come in from out of town (Westchester), once every few weeks. She sleeps over his place in the same bed because they like to cuddle. Now I know what you're thinking but I asked already and I believe him when he says they're not having sex, but am I being a total bitch for telling him like I just did that it makes me uncomfortable? -- F. Moskowitz (by email)

CUDDLING, COSTA RICAN STYLE: THE LOVING COUPLE ENJOYING A BILL CLINTON MINUTE OF INFAMY THAT IS LARGELY DEPENDENT ON WHAT YOUR DEFINITION OF IS IS.

Dear Where Have You Been All My Life: Yes, yes. I understand that it makes you uncomfortable, babe. I understand because it makes ME uncomfortable too because, largely, I am used to the world NOT understanding about my charitable impulses. But with your great understanding of the kind of charity work that I do, that I MUST do, I know that this relationship will really work. Really. So were you being a bitch when you told me it made you uncomfortable when Frances stayed at my place? Yes. Yes, you were.

Do I forgive you?

Yes. Yes, I do. Because the kind of understanding that pays for a weeklong vacation in Cancun for Frances and myself to sort of, you know, recover from this terrible misunderstanding, is the kind of understanding I want to keep around for awhile.