Yo Vinnie,
I dig anal vapors. Laugh like I know you're doing but since almost nobody that I know finds this sexy, it's hard to indulge. And of course the harder it is to indulge, the more you want to indulge in it. So at this point I am obsessed with the smell of ass. Ass. And stuff that comes out of the ass. How to indulge without ruining my standing in the community, ideas? -- Sniffy, (by email)

HEAVEN. I'M IN HEAVEN. ANAL VAPOR HEAVEN BUT HEAVEN NONETHELESS.

Dear JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: So, ass air is your thing, eh? No surprise, given that you live in Los Angeles but then again no surprise that you're having a hard time indulging your specific kink what with shit-eating being so much more the thing in LA this time of year and all. But what the fuck are you asking? How to whiff and not get busted? Well, that's simple: eat lots of pussy in the north-south position and you're bound to get as much whiffage as your nostrils can handle. But that's not reaaaallllyyyy your thing now is it, you lying sack of shit you? You're titillated by the prospect of asking aren't you? Like those flashers who get off on the look of stifled horror they get when they fly their freak flag high and wave their withered weenie at the world. So to help, because we're about nothing if not help, we'd just like to ask all of the women in the world if they minded terribly much having you, MICHAEL SPILLER, whiff their ass cracks?

Heyyyy...it's OK...no need to thank us now. No need at all.