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PARTON'S EX-TITS STAGE MASSIVE WALKOUT
SHE'S A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY, SHE'S A LITTLE BIT COCK IN THE HOLE: PARTON BEFORE HER WILDCAT STRIKE
NASHVILLE (SkullGame) -- Well-mammed country legend DOLLY PARTON, known mostly for her crippling depressions and pneumatic knobs, is now having labor pains of the most serious sort: her famous breasts, after hearing her complain about suffering 30 years of excruciating back pain, have staged a walkout.
The I Will Always Love You singer had career-enhancing silicone implants in both her 20s and her 30s, catapulting the former C-cup loser to dizzying double-D, A-list heights, but gay doctors have now told the 58-year-old star her big giant tay tays have taken a walk to "relieve" her of the crippling pressure on her back, shoulders and career.
She admits: "My boobs are killing me - and I don't know if I can stand the pain any longer. My boobs have been a trademark for me - but I've paid one hell of a price."
Her boobs admit: "We're killing her?!?! Well, we'll see about that!!! We're on SURVIVOR all over sweeps week and she is....?
Westbury Fucking Music Theater.
Case fucking closed."
"HETEROSEXUALS" FLOCK EN MASSE TO SELL-OUT SINGAPORE'S FIRST TRANNY BEAUTY PAGEANT
HERE SHE IS, MISS COCK-HIDDEN-BETWEEN-LEGSIA!!!!
"They have taken that which was the apogee of gay and pushed it beyond all previously known boundaries into the ultima thule of gayness," says GAY EXPERT DAVE DIETRICH
SINGAPORE (SkullGame) -- Singapore's first major transsexual beauty pageant was held over the weekend to raise money for the poor, with the event's organizers hailing it as a ground-breaking, dudes with tits, sell-out success.
An audience of 1350, mostly "straight," guys watched 13 finalists compete for the title of Miss Tiffany Singapore, based on the famous Thai contest of the same name, at the city-state's biggest in-house restaurant and dinner theater on Saturday night.
Thirty-three Singaporean transsexuals originally entered the contest, including one national serviceman, according to the organizer, club president and former owner of a functional set of cock and balls, Mogan Aruban.
"This was a ground-breaking event considering the whole family values thing (of Singaporean society)," Mogan said.
"I think it's acceptable now because the Prime Minister [Lee Hsien Loong] has said we have to liberalize and among the younger generation there are so many gays that we've really had no choice but to gay it up. So if you're gay, sling yourself over to Singapore," Mogan tittered, absentmindedly tracing the outline through his pants of where his cock used to be.
A SKULLGAME EXCLUSIVE, COURTESY OF ALTAR BOY: THE MAGAZINE FOR THE WAYWARD PRIEST
PRIESTS, BREAKING FROM BUGGERING BOYS, TO BEATING EACH OTHER AT THIS YEAR'S FESTIVAL OF BROTHERHOOD
NEVER DOES A PRIEST STAND SO TALL AS WHEN HE RAISES A SALUTE TO THE LORD
ISRAEL (SkullGame) -- Greek Orthodox and Franciscan priests got into a fist fight Monday at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, Christianity's holiest shrine of peace, after arguing over whether a door in the basilica should be closed during a procession.
Dozens of people, including several Israeli police officers, were slightly hurt in the ball-busting brawl at the shrine, built over the spot where tradition says Jesus himself had his ass kicked and was crucified and buried.
Four priests were detained, police spokesman Shmulik Ben-Ruby said.
Custody of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher is shared by several denominations that jealously guard territory and responsibilities under a fragile deal hammered out over the last centuries. Any perceived encroachment on one group's turf can lead to vicious blood feuds, sometimes lasting hundreds of years.
Church officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that at one point, the procession passed a Roman Catholic chapel, and priests from both sides started arguing over whether the door to the chapel should be open or closed. "They thrashed on my nose. Look at it," says Bishop Michael Muir. "I wasn't doing nothing to their shit and they fucking grab me like this and go 'hippie'. I'm just saying we know who he is and when he comes back here, we're going to get his ass."
