I, THEATER SLUT

I'M READY FOR MY CUMSHOT, MR. DEMILLE!

FAME!!! I Want To Suck Cock Forever!!! Lighting Up The Sky Like A Flame!!!

Oh yeah. She looks at me with all the earnestness a college freshman drama major named PATRICIA RYAN is capable of mustering.

"I did some summer stock productions. I did Lake Blowmegone. The Merchant of Penis. Homeo and Juliet. You know the classics."

"What about The Hunchback of Notre Dame?"

"Nahh....I hate football stories."

OK. We apologize for that one but the point is this: THEATER SLUTS is every raincoat jackers dream cum true.

SET UP: You and PEEWEE HERMAN are there in Sarasota taking in a retro show of 70s grit and glamour a la maybe a midnight showing of INSIDE JENNIFER WELLES. You and everybody else for whom jerking off in a theater full of other onanists is a sublime delight are there. A veritable community of those cuckoo for coconut.

And in walks THE THEATER SLUT. Led by her trusty THEATER PIMP.

They commence to plop down in the first non-jiz-stained seat and suck and fuck WHOEVER...PEEWEE HERMAN, REGIS PHILBIN, THE DUDE FROM FERRIS BUELLER, WHOEVER is up for a thespian sucking and fucking. Actually delivered by someone other than the standard house sucktress who, if history is any indicator, in all likelihood, is a gamely made up man in a wig.

Anyway, that's their story. They seem to be sticking to it. Lighting up the sky like a flame. Making us remember their names. All whilst enjoying fucking life under the kleig lights. And sucking cock. Oh yeah, and AIMING FOR THE STARS!!!

Whatever.