Yo Vinnie,
A couple months ago I started dating this guy. Things have been going really well, socially and physically—or so I thought. He said that we kind of moved too fast at the beginning and would now like to cool things down on the physical end, so we can get to know each other better. Is this a ploy to end our relationship? Or could he really mean it? Or is this his way of saying I’m bad in bed?--Help (by email)

SO ANYWAY, AFTER MY SISTER SAID TO ME....HEY....WHERE YOU GOING?

Look, I know you're busy what with your schedule so full of having sex with grossly inappropriate and emotionally inaccessible men, so I'll try to make this fucking brief. When a guy says that he wants to slow things down to get to know you better it means HE ALREADY KNOWS TOO MUCH. I'll do myself one better here by telling you that TOO MUCH is: every fucking stupid, boring detail of your life that you've been led to believe Prince Charming is supposed to WANT to hear. Well, he doesn't. He's not. And you're going to be left a little older, and thanks to me, a little wiser: if you're together the ratio of useless chatter to fuck is approximately 20 to 80. Better luck next time, KATHY WOODS.