Yo Vinnie,
I'm at the casino and pull two chicks. The second one knows I've got the first one lined up, done deal. So she suggests a threesome. Fucking jackpot! But the first one's not down for that. And the second chick's way hotter. But I figure, shit, the second chick's all slut, I'll get her number and bang her another time. First chick's so-so, might as well bang her now, call it another nut and say goodnight. So I do that. But that first chick was just awful in bed. And I KNOW the second woulda fucked like fucking was all she was born for. So in hindsight, I made the wrong decision. But was it the right decision at the time?!--PO'd (by email)

THE SOON-TO-BE TWO-TIME LOSER RIGHT ABOUT TO START

Dear Let This Be A Fucking Lesson To You: You know where the fuck I stopped reading your letter? Right where you say "the second chick's way hotter." And if I understood that correctly you meant "way hotter" as in SKULLGAME hot. Meaning she was to the life born. Especially if that goddamned life has everything to do with stuffing in as much fucking as any one life would hold. Now it just may happened that maybe the first broad had her vibe queered by this open challenge and invitation to lesbianism. Maybe that skewed whatever extant skills she had. I fucking doubt it though. Moreover to make your denigration totally complete I anticipate that when you call the hotter second one, she will refuse your call, possibly correctly pegging you as someone who has not a functioning understanding of the difference between a sewer hole and his own asshole. Note for the future: ALWAYS GO FOR THE FREAK.