IF I TOLD YOU ONCE I TOLD YOU 1000 TIMES: READ SKULLGAME, BITCH!


So we were sitting around getting high and Sal says "we love ho's. But we love fighting too. We should start putting fight shit on SKULLGAME." Then we all ignored him until like two months later when we were sitting around getting high and I said "I have a GREAT idea, we love ho's. But we love fighting too. We should start putting fight shit on SKULLGAME." Then we went back to getting high and fucking ho's and finally someone said "say weren't you guys going to start doing fight stuff?" And so here we are. And as soon as we're NOT high anymore (AS IF) we're going to start, um, you know. Doing more stuff like this. And fuck you if you don't like it. Oh yeah. Pictures were lifted from our good friends at www.sherdog.com--VINNIE ROSE

UFC 48: PAY BACK, PUNCHES, PARTIES AND PUSSY

I AIN'T GAY. YOU THINK I'M GAY?!? IF I WAS GAY WOULD I BE HERE STANDING STARING SMOKILY INTO YOUR DREAMY EYES?!?! HUNH??!?!

LAS VEGAS (ITALIAN SAL reporting): This UFC weekend, what with the whole premise of UFC 48 being "Pay Back," couldn’t have started out more controversial. Well yes. Yes it could. Like if, for instance, one competitor's coach started flooding the webwaves with purportedly GAY footage of one competitor or another, and then began taunting him at the weigh-in with Daisy Dukes' shorts.

Nah.

A little background for you though: Each of the night’s main events had some controversy surrounding it, whether it be a ref stoppage that came too early--in EVAN TANNER vs. PHIL BARONI--which devolved into ref fightage. Or a swift kick in the nuts: in FRANK TRIGG vs. DENNIS HALLMAN. The main event, however had no controversy in its makings, SHAMROCK submitted KIMO in their earlier contest via knee bar, while Shamrock clearly showed the injuries of his victories all over his face, Kimo DID tap out.

Obviously, my being a Jiu-Jitsu guy colors my commentary. However making a decision to "tap out" is a conscious act that will have the intended effect of removing oneself from a potentially, or certainly dangerous, situation.

THE WEIGH INS

THE PANTSLESS MATT LINDLAND SEEKING APPROVAL FOR A CLOTHING CHOICE

In what turned out to be one of the biggest inside jokes of the year MATT LINDLAND of Team Quest threw a pair of "Daisy Dukes" shorts at PHIL "I'M NOT GAY" BARONI immediately before the weigh in for himself and Team Quest fighter EVAN TANNER. The shorts were a reference to the recently surfaced video, recently surfaced by Lindland himself, who apparently spends a fair amount of time trawling gay websites, featuring none other than PHIL "THE NEW YORK BAD ASS" BARONI, showing his "bad ass" among other things in a "Body Worship" video.

I'M NOT GAY!!! AND TO SHOW YOU HOW NOT GAY I AM, I WILL FLEX MY RIPPLY MUSCLE FOR ALL YOU MEN

Body Worship videos are produced for gay men as a sexual aid (Jack OFF material). The New York Bad Ass appeared in the video during his days as a bodybuilder to make money and was all too unexcited to see it come back making him appear all-too-gay wearing shorts laughingly, if not disturbingly, gay and similar to the ones being held aloft by Lindland during the Weigh Ins.

The FRANK TRIGG vs. DENNIS HALLMAN was not without humor either.

I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FUCKING NUT KICKING

When approached by Trigg for the post-weigh-in face off Hallman covered his nuts as an apparent and not lost to the crowd reference to Triggs very hard and apparently intentional hit below the belt on Hallman during their first face off in the WFA. Trigg not at all as amused as the rest of the audience and press in attendance whispered something to Hallman that referenced kicking something that would not be his nuts. Interesting Frank Trigg side note is that Trigg is generously sponsored by a friend of SKULLGAME: VINCE VOUYER of Red Light District Video. You see, it all comes together in the end.

TWO SENIOR CITIZENS--KIMO AND SHAMROCK--COMPLETELY IGNORING THE WOMAN WE LOVE

Oh yeah. And the KIMO vs. SHAMROCK was the more standard "Pro Boxing" type weigh-in, wherein the apparent disdain between the fighters prior to their fight precluded any kind of friendly back and forth.

Check back Wednesday for the fight reportage and Friday for after party “reportage.”