Brought to you by our proud sponsors at Canandaigua Wine and BumWines, WILD IRISH ROSE is sure to light a fire of drunken rage in your soul.
HAPPY GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING ST. GODDAMNED PATTYS DAY!!!
YES. THEY ARE STILL ANGRY AT "ED".
"ED," CODE NAME FOR DAVE DIETRICH, IS STILL LARGELY DISLIKED IN SMALL OHIO TOWN
MAUMEE, OHIO (SkullGame) -- Despite the overwhelming fiction that the so-called heartland of America is a warm welcoming place full of the salt of the fucking earth, one Maumee, Ohio resident is finding it not so. Having recently aroused his neighborhood's ire with a RALPH NADER bumpersticker "ED," or DAVE DIETRICH as he requested we not call him, has had angry notes left on his Toyota Celica for two weeks straight now.
"One person even accused me of just being a Republican who likes trees," said Dietrich who has written us various times during the year to complain about everything from sexual dysfunction to erectile dysfunction to premature ejaculation. "What? I can't have an opinion too?"
No, Dave. Not if you're an asshole and live in Maumee.
HERE'S THE OLD SLUT, BETTER THAN THE NEW SLUT
WITH AN OLD SLUT LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS YOUNG SLUTS....WELL WE DO BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.
CHATSWORTH (SkullGame) -- For someone who, though no stranger to the business end of a cock, didn't shoot her first adult video until she was 38 years old, VICKY VETTE has wasted no time in taking the industry by storm this year. Especially if by "wasted no time" you mean stuffed as much sausage in her aging piehole as her aging piehole could hold.
Winning the coveted Hustler Magazine "Beaver Hunt" contest and being the oldest woman in history to have received the honor, making her way from smaller gonzo productions to starring roles and being featured on box covers, Vette will...um, well, suck our cocks sometime in the near goddamned future. Or something like that. Now how's about freshening up my drink over here, you fucking prick.
DANCEFLOOR ASSHOLE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO DANCEFLOOR ASSHOLISHNESS
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Oh. Oh. Look at me. My arms are spread like a high-flying eagle so that the world can see how fucking sexy I am because I'm a goddamned Yankee fan. And the girl with me? Well, she's just an observer to the great pageantry that is my Eagle Flying dance move.
Now if you will excuse me I'm going to go back to totally impressing the world.
SEX Z PICTURES SET TO THROW WILD VIP PORN STAR PARTY. WHICH MEANS YOU WILL NOT BE INVITED. BUT WE WILL. AND IN YOUR STEAD WE WILL JERK OFF WHILE TALKING TO BELLADONNA, VERBALLY ASSAULT SKEETER KERKOVE AND TOP THE NIGHT OFF BY PISSING ON THE FLOOR BEFORE GETTING KICKED OUT AND GOING HOME A LITTLE WISER, A LITTLE OLDER AND LITTLE MORE BITTER
GREAT. GREAT. YEAH. GO RIGHT AHEAD AND PUT ME ON THAT VIP LIST. MY NAME? OH. DAVE DIETRICH OF COURSE.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Sex Z Pictures VIP Porn Star Party is Friday, June 18th at 10:30PM at 1716 N. Cahuenga Blvd. in Hollywood.
THE DETROIT PISTONS WIN IT ALL!!!!!
GODDAMN THOSE NIGGAZ CAN HUSTLE
DETROIT (SkullGame) -- In a shocking finale to a season that was supposed to end anyway but this way, the Detroit Pistons upset the lackluster LA Lakers to emerge the undisputed champs of the National Basketball Association. The heavy midwest potsmokers RASHEED WALLACE and his brother BEN WALLACE, no relation despite the whole brother thing, smacked the grossly overweight stoner SHAQUILLE O'NEAL and randy rapist KOBE "Is She White?" BRYANT in the best of seven series that ended at five games not a minute too soon for the rest of America not interested in the doings of perpetually stoned multimillionaires.
EVA HERZOGOVINA IS IN SKULLGAME. SKULLGAME WRITES ABOUT SLUTS, ERGO EVA HERZOGOVINA IS A SLUT. AND A COUNTRY. AND A BREAKFAST TREAT.
AM I TOO FAT? COME ON. AM I? HUNH?
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- We got nothing. Nothing here. Now....onto drink....happy fucking weekend!!!
