Do you smell what THE MACK is cooking? A nice big FUCK YOU cake for fuckers whose shit-smeared visages will never again burn our eyes. God willing.
WELCOME. WELCOME TO COCKSUCKER ISLAND!!! AND YES, I HAVE A FRENCH MIDGET!
MAN TRIES TO FUCK AVRIL LAVIGNE. FOR THE FIRST TIME. THIS HOUR.
YEAH. THAT FINE BITCH AXL ROSE IS LOOKING AIIRIGHT THESE DAYS.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Fat, no-shoes, no-service multimillionaire FRED DURST tried to, in his first sensible move in years, bang the fuck out of teen pop star Avril Lavigne...by buying her fast food -- and was furious when she rebuffed him. The young 19-year old slut whose stated fondness for run down hotels, black trenchcoats, oversized clothing and boys who will listen to her complain about deli trays, was backstage complaining of being hungry.
Durst leaped into action--like a cliff diver, or his career--and headed down to his limo where he had stashed 14 hamburgers. But, despite purchasing the grungy youngster multiple hamburgers, she didn't fuck him because he's still FAT FREDDY DURST.
FUCK ME IN MY ASS! JUUSSSSTTTT KIDDING!!!!!
Avril says, "I mentioned to Fred that I was hungry, like, 'I want an In-n-Out burger.' Then he took a private jet out to one of my shows, expecting me to bang him. He was disappointed that I wouldn't even go near him."
In a side note a panel of SkullGame experts believes that he was totally right to think he was going to fuck her teen ass.
MADHATTER MARIAH CAREY DIVE DOWN CONTINUES
OH. THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TO WATCH ME DIE
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS (SkullGame) -- Feisty and demented diva MARIAH CAREY has hinted that she plans to ditch her business manager Ron Nash after firing her agents at William Morris, her long-time spokeswoman Cindi Berger, her large sums of money, her shows, her fans, professionally athletic Negroes, and "Bob, a bag designed to look like a man which I call Bob."
Her soon-to-be-fired manager Benny Medina confesses that the tour lost money. Lots and lots of money, but says, "We're booking some corporate fellatio dates to offset the negative balance of 40 million simolians in the fucking dumper."
Lotsa fucking luck, Chuchifriti.
MADONNA: A SLUT? OR JUST A SLUT? JEWS WANT TO KNOW
WE DO
JEWTOWN (SkullGame) -- Jewish cultural adviser Rabbi Schmuley Boteach, a former adviser to Michael Jackson, suggested Madonna should be removed from her role as the spokesperson for the Kabbalah movement because she's a "slut."
Madonna's publicist Liz Rosenberg admitted she was appalled by Boteach's harsh words, stating, "I find Rabbi Boteach's comments regarding Madonna frighteningly obvious."
DO YOU SPELL FUCKING SLUT WITH ONE OR TWO FUCKINGS?
"His vile attacks on her character and as an artist are staggeringly well-deserved and for someone who professes to be a religious person to pick up on this...well just, frankly, I am amazed."
And to recap: the crazy Jew advises the lunatic Negro Jackson on what exactly?
TOMMY & PAM TO DIE SOON? WE CAN ONLY HOPE.
WHEN WILL IT END? WHEN WILL IT END?
MALIBU (SkullGame) -- Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson are heading for a permanent reconciliation leading to a double suicide pact after spending a month living together in Malibu, Calif.
We hope.
He says, "We each saw how the other has changed ... It was incredible to see how happy the boys were thinking that mom and dad are back together again. It'll be great to smash their hopes and trembling dreams when we gas up for the drive to the great beyond."
We hope.
NEXT WEEK--IF WE MAKE IT BACK ALIVE FROM THE FIGHTS IN VEGAS: SKULLGAME'S ALL PORNO WEEK!!!!
