Yo Vinnie,
My girlfriend cheats on me. I mean I caught her once and though she promised to let it never happen again, I have my suspicions. But I love her. What do I do?--A.E. (by email)

ANOTHER SKULLGAME SERVICE: FINDING WHAT YOU'RE BETTER OFF LOSING

Dear Mr. Finishes Last: Listen to yourself. LISTEN to yourself. "Let it happen"? Is that what you call it when she YANKS down the postman's zipper, jams as much of his man meat into her maw as it'll hold, and juggles both balls while doing so? Goddamn it, man, snap out of it. You got yourself a bona fide SLUT on your hands and rather than trying to love her into some sort of Stepford coma, you should be making fucking lemonade out of those lemons and lining up your friends, your friend's friends, their cocks and a film crew. In other words: you got a goldmine on your hands. Don't fuck it up with all of that love shit.