http://www.sexualrapportmodeling.com/

"FUCK YOU? WE HEAR AND WE OBEY AND WILL NOW FUCK YOU WITH ROBOTIC JOY!"

Penetrating The Inner Circle of "The Secret Society"

Anybody's pitch that starts with a come-on like that will for sure end up having you pants down and ass over a goddamned barrel. "Penetrating The Inner Circle of 'The Secret Society'" of your butt is what they really mean.

But because we care about YOU, the goddamned MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME reader we spent the jack and delved into the heart of direct marketing mumbo jumbo and purchased KEANU J. JAGGER's 200 dollar jerk off on how to snag ho's.

What did we learn?

That made up names like KEANU J. JAGGER make us even angrier than spending $200 on anything other than a 19-year-old call girl.

That $200 can buy lots and lots of meth.

And finally, that if you give a KNOWN PIMP like CORNHOLIO a $200 series of tapes on how to pick up ho's he will leave them unopened on his office desk while he picks up ho's the old-fashioned way: with a car antenna.

I PREFER THE PONTIAC SR2435 FOR ITS SUPERIOR STYLING, CONCEALIBILITY, AND RUST-FREE ASS-STINGING PERFORMANCE