SKULLGAME'S VINNIE ROSE INVITES HIS WEB SLAVE TO CHAT ABOUT WHY THE SERVER MUST NEVER CRASH AGAIN
YOU KNOW, THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT HURTS IT YOU? THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT
SKULLGAME (SkullGame) -- Yesterday, for reasons unbeknownst to us who should be in the beknownst, MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME crashed the fuck out. Why? How? What? We have no fucking idea but we suspect it had something to do with terrorism. And really hot bitches. Or something. But it won't happen again. At least that's what our webmaster said. I mean after the beating stopped and all.
WE WILL ATTACK THIS MACK AVENUE SKULLS GAMES AS LONG AS WE CAN STAND. STRONG. TALL. AND TO THE DEATH!!! LIKE OUR NIPPLES!
NAKED DIANE KEATON CRACKS THE FUCK UP. IN PUBLIC NO LESS
BERLIN (SkullGame) -- SkullGame's Foreign Correspondent ANDREAS BUSCHE was in attendance at the recently held Berlin Film Festival when DIANE KEATON, apparently vying for the MARGOT KIDDER AWARD for trash rummaging, mumbling and shiny string collecting, broke down in the middle of a press conference.
I...I...WAS...COUNTING....ALL MY FUCKING MONEY...AND...AND...I LOST COUNT AND HAD TO START AGAIN...AND IT'S JUST SOOOO SAD...
The exhausted actress [translation: high as a fucking kite--ed.] was at the Berlin Film Festival with JACK "HERE SMOKE THIS" NICHOLSON to promote their movie "Something's Gotta Give" when she cracked under pressure and started weeping.
"I'm so tired that I think I'm going to go insane. This is hard. I've never been with a bunch of people like this. It's weird. You ask weird questions and I don't know how to answer them. It's just fucking weird. It's just so odd and the thing is there's so many of you and there's so few of us. I'm going nuts."
Nicholson gently took her hand and slipped a valium between her cheek and gums, "You wanna go home now, honey? You wanna go home now, sweetie?"
Jesus fucking Christ. And she's a goddamned millionaire.
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO!!!!
JENNIFER STEELE: ASSES OF FIRE!!!
I AM A FIRE SLUT....AND I VOTE!
What sets JENNIFER STEELE apart from all the rest of the sluts in this slut-heavy business?
Is it the fact that she uses that super pretentious Euro Trashy, extra letter E at the end of her last name?
No, that’s not it.
Is it the fact that she is the first fire breathing porn star and the first porn star to breathe fire while receiving anal?
Weeeelllllll....While certainly the latter of the two is a feat of notable mention what sets Jennifer Steele apart from all the other industry sluts I have interviewed was the fact that she did not in no uncertain terms say that fucking would be strictly out of the question. This is a fact worth noting: duly noted…
So let's join my flirtatious, sex-charged interview with the very sexy fire breathing adult performer Jennifer Steele already in progress…
SkullGame: How long have you been in the industry Jennifer?
Jennifer Steele: I have been in the industry for 13 years total.
SG: So how did you get your start 13 years ago? I am sure you didn’t wake up one morning in 1991 and blow a blue flame out of your ass, although that would have been super cool.
"SET YOUR COOCH ON FIRE?" "WHAT?" "I MEAN 'SIT ON THE COUCH NEAR THE DRYER'"
JS: No [laughing]. I actually started out dancing in clubs. Did that for about three years and was really amazed by some of the feature dancers where I worked that did stuff with fire. Stuff that was pretty tame in comparison to what I am doing now, they would put flammable stuff on their arms or legs or even tits, a kind of gel that burns without affecting the skin beneath it. Well I seen that, wanted to start doing it, and then seen a bartender who would do the whole breathing fire routine behind the bar too and so I asked him...
SG: And you sucked his cock!?!
JS: No… I asked him how to do it and he showed me. From that point on I began doing feature shows and traveling...
SG: And then you sucked his cock!?!
JS: Are you on medication?
SG: Yes, yes I am….So, when did all the unfettered cock sucking come in to play?
JS: Unfettered cock sucking?
SG: Yes, yes, yes...when did you begin doing movies, adult movies?
JS: Ah, Yes, I started doing the movies about five years ago incorporating the whole fire breathing and sex thing.
SG: Looking at your filmography, while certainly extensive, the one title that jumps out at me is “ASS CLOWNS Extreme #3” Let me just preface this with an apology. I am going to work the name ASS CLOWNS into as much of this interview as I possibly can. So before we continue, I am sorry. Anyhow, tell me about ASS CLOWNS.
JS: [laughing] I understand, it is a pretty funny title. ASS CLOWNS is actually one of the movies that’s part of the “Federal Five” case against Extreme Associates.
SG: What was it about that movie that ruffled the proverbial feathers on the beltway?
JS: What?
SG: Oh, yes. What was it about ASS CLOWNS that upset the Federal Government?
JS: Oh, okay. My scene was actually okay. There was a scene in the beginning that was a simulated rape scene. It upset quite a few people.
SG: Now I know that you, within the last couple of years, did Burning Man. Are you planning to do some "mainstream work" vis a vis the Jim Rose Traveling Circus or Steve O’s Don’t Try This at Home tour?
JS: Yes I did do Burning Man and learned a lot from the fire performers there. As far as doing more mainstream work, I toured with KID ROCK for a while and that was lots of fun but I like doing the porn a couple of times a year and I love performing my stage show. For me the sex and fire thing is a huge turn on. I love doing it and don’t see myself stopping it anytime soon.
SG: Don’t you find the whole naked with fire thing a bit dangerous?
JS: Not at all. Without the clothing it’s actually much safer.
SG: Would you consider lighting my sack on fire? Just a question…
JS: [laughing] Are you serious?
SG: As the day is long…
[Long uncomfortable silence]
SG: Anyway. I see from my notes here you’re married. Does that mean you’re no longer doing boy-girl scenes?
JS: Oh no. [laughing] I will still be doing boy-girl scenes.
SG: Would these be only with your husband?
JS: [laughing] What kind of fun would that be? No, I will be performing with other actors. As far as a fire breathing safety standpoint, my husband who is also a fire breather, is the logical choice but as far as keeping it fresh and new there are lot of guys out there who I am eager to work with.
WE FELL INTO A BURNING RING OF FIRE
SG: ASS CLOWNS…
JS: What?
SG: What?
JS: You said ASS CLOWNS!
SG: No I didn’t. [whispers] ASS CLOWNS.
JS: There you go. You just said it again!
SG: Pardon?
JS: [silence]
SG: So what will you be doing in the near future?
JS: Well I am featuring at some clubs in San Francisco starting on the 19th at the Crazy Horse in San Francisco then I am going down to San Jose, on to Fresno, and then to LA.
SG: Where you will be sucking cock!?!
JS: I will probably be shooting movies in LA, yes. [Laughing] Other than that if people want to see exactly where I am going to be and when, they can check: http://jennifersteele.com. By the way, what do you think of my website?
SG: It sucked.
JS: I made it myself.
SG: It was genius, truly inspired. I really truly loved it.
JS: [laughing] You are really funny, I love your site.
SG: Thank you. [whispers] ASS CLOWNS.
[Click: Dial tone]
SG: Hello. HELLO!!! Lesbo…
