YO VINNIE,
Look this is the way it works: I invite my bro to a threesome with a hot bitch and he returns the favor, right? Well enclosed you'll find two jpgs. What I gave him and what he gave me. Do I have the right to be sort of angry?--Bossa (by email)

WHAT I GAVE HIM: THE RELATIVE EQUIVALENT OF CRISTAL

WHAT HE GAVE ME: THE FUNCTIONAL EQUIVALENT OF CAT PISS

Dear Charlie Brown: Look, look, look. It's just goddamned UNseemly to EVER complain about gifts that you've been given. I mean shit you're acting like we, I mean YOUR FRIEND, didn't ALSO have to fuck the beast that you yourself fucked. What? You want an award for scoring a better brand of slut than your pal? Listen, you're among friends here: If the beast didn't turn you on, how the fuck did you manage to fuck her? Perhaps something ELSE about that scenario you found amusing, yes? Perhaps something sausagesque?

Next time you want to give gifts I suggest just exchanging pleasantries if you're going to be THIS pissy about it.