SNOOP SUED BY MONEY GRUBBING HIZO
Hip-hop Superstar, Multimillionaire, and Professional Negro SNOOP DOGG’s MTV show is being sued by an actress who claims she was made to look naked.
YOU CAN, LIKE, FUZZ OUT MY TITS RIGHT? AND THAT SECTION WHERE I SUCKED YOU OFF? AND WHAT ABOUT WHEN I GOT DOUBLE TEAMED BY THOSE GUYS? GOOD, GOOD...
The money-grubbing Ho Dorothy Burns, who appeared in an episode of the show, is claiming the producers of Doggy Fizzle Televizzle made it look like she was naked and engaging in a sexual act with the man who was playing her husband.
Burns says she agreed to wear a tank top and underwear, and hold the actor's hand on the bed. But, she says, when the episode was broadcast her torso and hands were blurred, making it seem like she really was sucking cock harder then she’s ever sucked a goddamned cock before.
She filed the lawsuit on Friday, suing Snoop and MTV for breach of contract, fraud, defamation of character and invasion of privacy. She is seeking an undisclosed amount in damages to sooth her sluttish sensibilities.
NEGRO IMPERSONATOR JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE HATES NEGROES
TIMBERLAKE AT A LOCAL KLAN RALLY IN A VERY CONFUSED SECTION OF FLORIDA.
JUSTIN “HOMIE T” TIMBERLAKE is being sued for $9.6 million by his former tour manager -- who has accused the singer of being a chickenshit, redneck motherfucker.
Ibrahim Duarte claims Justin used racial slurs toward him and all of the other 25 Black employees in Timberlake’s retinue.
The irate Negro fumes, "After four years of building them into one of the hottest and admittedly crappiest bands in the world, they treated me like a small pet. Perhaps a French bulldog. Or a prize-winning terrier. Or possibly a dachsund. But in any case most definitely, less than human. The popularity and money went to their heads. I endured their constant japes, pokes, slurs and jokes to make it work. But they just threw me to the curb like yesterday's Kentucky Fried Chicken trash."
Band member Lance Bass allegedly insisted Duarte travel in a separate tour bus with all of the other management staff, because he was ashamed of having a black tour manager, and JC Chasez would shout, "You Black guys always f-- up."
Duarte also claims black sound engineer Dale Ramsey had to endure jokes about his complexion, and security guard Kenneth Hunter was teased "in a racially offensive manner" -- before both were dismissed.
The aggrieved tour manager claims he was sacked after the group's No Strings Attached tour in 2000 because 'N Sync were ashamed of having a black "front man" -- and was replaced by a white man with Down’s Syndrome and "significantly less experience."
Duarte adds, "In my 25 years in this industry, I've never been treated like this by any other artist who I didn’t also sue for 10 mil."
THE MACK’s YEAR END SMACK
At MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME where the nights are long and the cocks longer we will take a reflective fucking moment to consider the year that we’re winding down from, tamp a nice pipe of the best tobacco, and push back from our snifter of brandy to take stock of the great men we have always been and will more than likely continue being.
Yes, yes. From the gang bangs of 2003 to the double teams of 2004 and around the world in 365 days we, in full-balled glory, will continue using this thinly veiled forum to get, obtain, secure, manhandle and maintain a steady of a supply of pussy as has ever been seen.
OLIVIA, THE QUEEN AND LARGELY THE REASON FOR OUR MISERABLE EXISTENCES, CONTEMPLATES A CHESTFUL OF COCONUT OIL COURTESY OF VINNIE ROSE
And our goal?
One thing and one thing only: EVERLASTING GLORY.
VINNIE ROSE: “I’m mostly just hoping on world peace. Yeah. World peace. Peace and lots and lots of pussy. For me, mostly.”
ITALIAN SAL: “This year I had a lot of fights (won most of them) and fucked a lot of broads (oh yeah, most of them). In 2004 I’d hope to double down on all that strange. I mean all except for that Crying Game shit that had me all hemmed in round about July. Hey, look, I can live without THAT again.”
THE ARGENTINE: “When the smoke clears and the music warms into the soothing hum of plush carpet and nights spent naked on them, I will wait for you my darling, BRITNEY. Wait. And wonder about not only the glory that we had but all of the glory to come. Truly. Nearly. Wonderfully.”
HABIB: “Now that peace has come to my home country of IRAQ it is my sworn duty as a dual citizen to return and along with democracy, bring as much cash as I can carry so that I can find that alley brothel behind some sheets on a side street concealed by corrugated tin that I just read about, you know the one where the hookers are charging $1.50 a fuck? And fuck myself until dead. Or the cash runs out. Thus helping ease my country out of the medieval darknesses into the modern world of Semen Extraction-based economic systems.
CORNHOLIO: “Sheeiitt. This year I musta fucked 67 bitches. See, that puts me at a little over than one week. In 2004? Well, let’s just say that I think play time is fucking over and if I’m ever gonna get serious about my life I gotta start now and so if I get nothing done this year but fuck white broad after white broad after white broad….after white broad after Chinese broad after sista after fat broad and old broad, well I’m a’gonna do it. Even if I gotta call Kobe up to give a brother a hand. This, to you, I swear.”
STEELY ROB: “I just want a woman who loves me for me, who understands me and who, if asked [and she most assuredly will be—VINNIE ROSE], will let VINNIE fuck the shit out of her as well. This one thing I ask.”
THE DOCTOR: “I wish mostly that my ex-wife just die. I mean die a death heavy with a hundred horrors. Either that or that she takes me back. Either one.”
NICKY BALLS: “I, too, want to pay tribute to a great fucking Roman by granting him the honor of my woman’s cooch. Well this and a rhyming dictionary.”
DEAD GIRL: “As the cooch in question I’d be more than proud to have VINNIE plow my fields. And when he’s done with that if he could wash the car, do the dishes, and walk the fucking dog, well that would just about make my 2004 complete. Wha? Sex?!?! Oh. No. I couldn’t fuck him. Are you serious?”
ANIMAL THUG: “A medical marijuana license so that I can ride around the land busting fat blunts on some hot stunts who come to get stuck up. Oh yeah. And world peace.”
