And for a limited time only SKULLGAME BUMPER STICKERS that somehow just manage to say it all, especially if by all you mean:
DON'T BLAME ME, I VOTED FOR HITLER!!!
email vinnie@skullgame.com to place your order NOW!!!
AND FROM OUR ACE POLITICAL CONSULTANT, ITALIAN SAL, YET ANOTHER TRENCHANT ITALIAN SALVO:
Mary Carey Fucks Gary Coleman!?! Scott Fayner from Luke Ford, Shocked
WHAT?! A LITTLE INTERRACIAL LOVE A LITTLE TOO SHOCKING FOR YOU?!?
Newbie and perennial political outsider and unapologetic Porn Star Mary Carey stated to a recently gathered room full of reporters this morning that:
"While I had always heard the rumors about 'THE BLACK MAN'S'[TM] physical prowess, I never knew they were holding such incredible length. And girth, even." The reclined and spread-eagled Carey then proceeded to remove gubernatorial competitor Gary Coleman from her blown out vag feet first.
RUN, GARY, RUN, MY MAN!!! YOU'RE BEING CHASED BY GIANT PUBLICITY HUNGRY SNATCH!!!
Political insiders were shocked, appalled, and even aghast, by the obviously wrong-headed publicity stunt, meant to, we guess, draw attention to the two hopefuls' struggling campaigns on the eve of this historical California recall election.
When asked to address their concern regarding the shameless attention getting stunt and its legality by former flame Scott Fayner from Luke Ford, the only other reporter in attendance other than me, Carey just waved off the accusation, stating: "Its not like I shoved him in my ass or anything, relax, will ya!"
When Coleman finally regained consciousness and was asked to comment, the diminutive pseudo-celebrity and political douche bag said: "Mrrrrrr maaarrnnn mmmrrmn!!!" Which sounded something like something we alternately guess was either "What is this white bitch doing?!?!?!", "What you talkin' about Willis?!?", or "I...I...feel so....used."
While deciding to not press charges serious questions remain, number one among them: how is it that Scott Fayner is getting to fuck Porn Stars while I only get to fuck college broads who write sad poetry?
QUOTABLE KOBE QUOTES
“I would never get into trouble like Mike Tyson”
PRO TEM ATTORNEY-AT-LAW IRON MICHAEL TYSONWITZ, "MY POINT EXACTLY: NO MAN IS SAFE FROM ANTI-ASS-FUCKING CRUSADERS!"
FROM CRIMINAL COURT TO THE BASKETBALL COURT
SKULLGAME (HONOLULU)—Accused Ass Fucking Maniac Kobe Bryant returned to the basketball court Saturday, admittedly out of shape from fucking so much Ass and scared about what lies ahead for his family as his sexual assault case proceeds and he contemplates the high probability of A-Block Ass Fucking at the Q [San Quentin].
After participating in a few drills with his ass-shielding Los Angeles Lakers teammates at training camp, the superstar guard said he considered not playing until his Ass Fucking case is settled.
"Basketball to me just took a back seat, man," Bryant said in his first public comments since July 18, the day he was charged with sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman in the Ass in Eagle, Colo. “Back seat, “ he continued free associating. “Back door. He he. Ass Fucking.”
Surrounded by a throng of thong-wearing media types in a steamy, man-laden gym at the University of Hawaii, Bryant said he decided about a month ago that he would play, a decision supported by his cash-counting wife, Vanessa.
"You know, I have a job to do that won’t be sidetracked by all of my Ass Fucking," Bryant said, dressed in a gold practice jersey and purple shorts and with a towel around his neck.
"And this is my job and I’m coming back to work," he said. "My family and I, we've been dealing with this Ass Fucking thing for a while now, and we're going to continue to deal with it. I'm coming back to work and do what I do. Up to but presently excluding Ass Fucking. I mean with anyone but Vanessa."
I AM GUILTY OF NOTHING BUT LOVING, NOT POORLY, BUT UNWISELY. AND IN THE ASS.
PISS DRINKING: A MEDITATION ON SOME STUNNING SHIT
EDITORIAL:
HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.
Something you need to contemplate. Have your friends take the guns from your house first though. And the knives. And the prescription drugs. In fact have someone TIE YOU DOWN before you follow me here. And I mean tied down like CLOCKWORK ORANGE tied down.
OK. Ready.
I'M A PISS DRINKER! AND I VOTE!!!
http://www.pissmops.com/
Now go to that page and you will see women that look better than THE LAST 10 BROADS that told you to FUCK OFF getting big, giant MOUTHFULS OF PISS.
In other words that woman who WILL NOT FUCK YOU who happens to be sitting at the end of the bar or in the gym or whatever, PROBABLY just came from having her mouth pissed in by a bleary bevy of big-balled wonders who did nothing but expand off of that tired "oh, baby, I want to fuck you" to "oh, baby, I want to piss in your mouth."
We here at MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME are, frankly, speechless. And in the name of full blown scientific inquiry we're going to place the following ad, for YOU the reading audience:
"Hey!!! Are you a PISS DRINKER?! Well, let US piss in your mouth. NO SEX involved. Just good ol' fashioned PISS DRINKING. Hot bitches only!"
We will keep you posted.
