YO VINNIE,
I read all of this shit about orgies this and threesomes that and I think you industry fags are just trying to create this illusion of a sexually experimenting population that in no way bears any resemblance to real life JUST to make a few bucks selling your stupid shit. Think I'm lying? YOU try putting together an orgy sometime and see how fucking easy it is. Fuck you.--M.R., Los Angeles (by e-mail)

Dear Mister Mister: Well, when a man's right, a man's right and you sir are absolutely right. I mean not with any of that bullshit you're spouting but in the unstated understanding and forestated discovery that

IT IS HARD TO GET LAID.

It's not fucking easy putting together an orgy when you figure you're trying to juggle between 10 different broads with 10 different periods. No fucking way. Does that mean that it only happens on mattresses in San Fernando Valley dirt lots? No. Does that mean that there isn't a community of people experiementing with shit out there? Not that you'd know, Mr. Cranky Pants.

My advice to you is, if you're looking for that easy option: go GAY. Otherwise get back in there, keep punching and don't stop until your cock's getting sucked by no fewer than two men dressed as women who have rooked yet another unsuspecting and foolishly wishful fucking sap like yourself.