YO VINNIE,
Me and my girl were arrested for macking in my car. I questioned the legality of the stop, called the cop a dirty motherfucker and was dragged off to jail. Is this legal? Oh. The car was a rag top. W.N., Seattle, WA

Topless in Seattle. Hey, I'm no fucking lawyer but I'll tell you what I do know about public indecency statutes: a lot (don't ask). And the deal is this: it's all about private acts made public. If you fuck in your picture window that overlooks the street in plain view of passersby even though a man's house is his castle your ass is going to jail. If you get head in a convertible in the Safeway parking lot at noon, you are going to jail. If you are fucking your old lady by the shark tank at the aquarium, FOR EXAMPLE, you are going to jail.

NOW, if you are in your car and you've made reasonable efforts to conceal your doings, they got nothing. Sure they'll hassle you, check to make sure she's not being Kobe'd or some other fucking hard-on destroying manuever but they WON'T and I repeat WON'T arrest your ass.

Got it?

Goooooood.....