Vinnie!
I have been masturbating since I was 12 years old I am now 45. Recently I found that I could only excite myself by making incisions in my penis. Unfortunatly this tends to hurt for a few days after my session. Is this normal?--Self inflicted, Oak Park, MI

Ginsu:
Yeah. I had this friend named Karl. He lived in this place called the Tenderloin. Kept his apartment so fucking dark he could have grown mushrooms in there. So's I go over to his house one day and he's jumping around complaining about "fleas."

"Oh man. They're everywhere. Even on my cock." And he jumps up and starts to pull down his pants.

"Whoa, whoa Cochise…what the fuck?"

"Look at them. Look at my cock!"

"Listen. I'll take your word for it."

"Man. I can't get them off, I just can't. I've been cutting them off with that fucking scalpel but now I have cuts all over my cock. And the cuts start to itch because they get infected and so then I inject myself with this drug I stole from my cat's vet. Ah, Lidocaine. And then…"

Karl killed himself not more than a year later. Do with this info what you would.