YO VINNIE,
My man’s ability not to blow his wad during the first 10 minutes of penetration varies. Sometimes he can keep going for half an hour or more, but most of the time, and especially when we haven’t done it for a while, he can only hold out for a few minutes. It doesn’t matter what position we’re in or how drunk he is—he’s just as sensitive no matter what. I haven’t really had reason to complain before, since his cock stays hard for a long time after he comes. But if it takes me longer to come—which has been the case for the past week, maybe due to pregnancy hormones—or if he’s tired, he tends to grow limper before I come, and I need to resort to the dildo. Sometimes I get irritated by the fact that I need to change positions and readjust everything. Plus it just pisses me off that he can’t control himself. I figured you probably know what a man can do to delay his orgasms. He says he knows it’s a problem (because he wants to keep going for longer), but he doesn’t know where to turn. I’ve heard that you’re supposed to squeeze the shaft really hard when he’s about to come. I guess we could try that. But I’m looking for “internal” techniques, like what muscles to use or whatever. Any advice would be deeply appreciated.-- M.F. (by email)

"GREAT. JUST FUCKING GREAT. FIRST: YOU'RE PREGNANT & NOW THIS!!!".

Dear MADONNA. OR IS IT WHORE?: When you mentioned that you were pregnant our fucking dinks just about dried up to well-beyond peanut. And then we realized you were not pregnant BY us and we just went back to not caring at all about what you were talking about, watching basketball on the TV, and crying while the cartoon version of everything we ever owned by way of cash went flying out the window with little cherub wings because fucking GEORGETOWN just ate shit and goddamn it if I know where we're going to get 5000 Grr from to pay Carmine.

So, THAT is one option to delay male orgasm: the Impending Broken Leg syndrome. It'll mask all over life concerns so thoroughly that he won't even know he's fucking, let alone be thinking about coming from fucking. Drawbacks: pricey, possibly life-threatening.

But what's that you say? Internal techniques? Yes....the PC muscle. Have him squeeze the muscles that make it feel like he's squeezing his asshole shut. Like in jail. This should work. Totally unlike in jail. Drawbacks: I just made this the fuck up.

Squeezing the shaft? Reminds of me a joke: a little boy goes into an ice cream parlor and asks for some ice cream. The counter cooze asks him, "you want crushed nuts with that?" And he says, "you do and I'll kick you in the quim."

Or something like that.

But you got it half right: pull on the scrotum. The body has a much harder time coming when the testicles are not drawn up tight next to the body so by gently and consistently pulling on the scrotum makes the balls almost have to reset. HE should be the one doing it as well, since this can be a sensitive operation. IF he needs to do it, he should reach behind him and grab his scrotum from behind and pull it gently down. If the position is different he can do it from the front too. With a minimum of disruption.

Of course, AFTER you've had the kid? You will forget he's got a cock at all, so one way or another, your problem will be solved. Right around the time his will be beginning.