YO VINNIE,
Me and my boyfriend have a pretty healthy sex life but more frequently these days he keeps suggesting a menage. Most guys seem to fantasize about this but how many are pushing their girlfriends to have sex with another man? Is he this bored? Gay? I mean, WTF? -- One's Enough (by email)

A GOOOOOD DAY FOR COCK & THEMS THAT LIKE IT

Dear MS. KILLJOY BUZZKILL: You know right now there are thousands of women reading this asking exactly the same fucking thing about your letter: What The Fuck? Indeed. Or rather: Why The Fuck Not? I mean presuming at some odd point during the rest of your WHOLE life you can imagine wanting some other poles in the holes, why not now? OK, OK, I'm supposed to understand that what you're really wanting to know/asking has everything to do with YOUR desires being respected and YOU not feeling like YOU want to feel pressured to do something that seems to mean a lot more to dude than it means to YOU, and well, YOU haven't really thought about it yet and so, WTF? But lemme tell you: it's OKAY. That is, it's OKAY to not think about YOU so goddamned much and maybe think a little bit about dude. I mean who cares WHY he wants it, he ain't asking why you want roses on Valentine's Day, he wants it and it might be fun. UNLESS, and this is my one proviso, in the middle he starts making a sausage move. Then you have problems. Which I suspect is the source of your suspicions. I mean you mentioned GAY, not us. We prefer Guy-Girl-Guy outings because it's like BEING in a movie and WATCHING a movie and there's not a lot of waiting on the cock. Because there are two. Next to this, a foursome is fine, but the reality of it is, if you ain't sausage minded as a man, this is the greatest of all possible set ups. BUT your concerns are about your boyfriend's GAYNESS, which we can most assuredly guarantee you: EXISTS.

Yup. He's gay.

How do we know? YOU yourself just told us. So, unless you like the idea of SEEING Brokeback Mountain and BEING IN Brokeback Mountain, I might suggest vetting out his non-gayness first.

Such like:

"Say, Jim, let's go to this poetry reading..."

"Sure."

Gay.

And case thusly closed, babe.