Yo Vinnie,
I did want to ask you another question though after reading every single one of your "Ask Vinnie" submissions...which I thoroughly enjoyed btw, what is the difference between a slut and a whore and does every woman fall into one category or another? Your answer of course has absolutely no negative
repercussions so speak freely. -- A Lisa (by email)

A SERVICE PROVIDER TO THE END...

Dear GODDAMN RIGHT WE AIN'T GONNA SUFFER: Well you can't really discuss whores without taking the word as seriously as it was originally intended and that is: not separated from its economic origins.

In my very, very, VERY [un]limited experience, er, with whores...well, I've found them to be amazingly well adjusted [when compared to both strippers and porn stars...women whose work is mostly public versus the whore whose work is private and who are much more maladjusted than your garden variety Ho]. But here goes...

Whore Advantages: frequently a de-symbolization of the sexual experience [sometimes a cigar is just a cigar or in this instance a load in the face and sometimes it's love], ability to keep secrets, generosity, willingness to do what it takes to get the job DONE and ready access to cheap/free drugs.

Whore Drawbacks a.k.a. Whorebacks: the commodifying of the relationship experience [what can you do for me?], more interested in drugs than sex, if you're a hypochondriac like me the specter of disease is also nettlesome and means a constant and continual acquaintance with condoms, and finally the very real potential that they will lose interest in sex COMPLETELY.

"WE ARE TOTAL SLIT SLUTS. HEAR US ROAR."

Now, sluts, also known as wild girls, are great too. HOWEVER, latent guilt issues as a result of boyfriends who "just don't understand" what jewels they've got or boyfriends who are hellbent on "ruining it for everybody" make this an unstable sub-species.

Sluts also tend to internalize this stuff and are prone to pop off with the occasional, "I'm not just a dirty slut, YOU KNOW," before crying and crashing the evening into hours of tedious introspection starting with 1st grade and working right through "this crazy dream" she had last night.

Slut Advantages: cheaper than whores.

Slutbacks: much, much, MUCH more unpredictable.

Personally?

I have to say that I prefer sluts, but that's because I am both cheap/broke and also a slut, myself.

Which is to say I can never get my act together enough to remember to charge.

Oh, one other thing: BOTH whores and sluts are much much more highly valued than the following sub-categories...

1] Bitches
2] scolds
3] harridans
4] battle axes
5] cunts
6] ball busters
7] murderesses
8] poets
9] wives

And

10] harpies

Hope this helps....

And no, not everyone woman falls into any of these categories but the ones who don't? Are usually too boring to be paid attention to.