Flinging It All To The Fucking Wind

SUSIE, HERE, IS SOMEWHERE IN SAN FRAN. PRESUMABLY WAITING FOR OUR COCKS. AND WHILE WE'RE HOLDING OUR BREATH THAT SHE FINDS US, SOMETHING TELLS US IT'S GONNA BE A LONG WHILE BEFORE SHE FINDS US.

OK. We've all seen the Facebooks, the Myspaces, the social "networking" hoo hah, which is really just a sometimes not even so thinly veiled excuse/attempt to GET LAID which is fine. We fully advocate everybody telling lies about every thing anyone could ever lie about just for the fuck of it or even specifically to get some ching chang. Where we get a little fezzed up is when the lies told are not to get ching chang but to just get ka-ching. Which is even sort of fine as long as the tricks don't try to treat the pimps like johns. Which brings us to FLING. While this is just the same old hound in mutton's clothing what irks us more than anything is

1] there's no fucking way the bitch above lives on our street, the claim they're making [and here's one from me: I know ALL the neighborhood hot bitches already] and

2] $9.95, $34.95, and/or $59.95 is anything BUT free you motherfuckers!!! What?!?! You think we can't count?

HOWEVER, we, in the spirit of full journalistic inquiry have logged on. The upshot: not a single CC of semen has left our bodies. Six hours and counting.

Now, I know there are doubters out there who claim that Facebook/Myspace's been very good for them and they've gotten laid with little or no work and while we're not calling these guys liars we do, indeed, think they're lying. Or there's oceans of confusion between the willing and supple lips of a 19-year old whore and the trembling ministrations of a grizzled 65 yeard old alcoholic. They claim the former, we're betting on the latter.

Let the buyer beware.