Yo Vinnie,
Me and my girlfriend always read that Dan Savage guy's sex column together. Well, there was one in there last week about how this guy didn't want to pay his wife or girlfriend back for fulfilling his fantasy of seeing her with a woman by letting her get fucked by two men. Well, Dan said that the guy was right and I agreed. My girlfriend doesn't and next thing I know we start arguing and it's revealed that this is HER fantasy and this has now become an issue of me "stifling" her "expression of self." Can I get a witness? -- Dave-O

A GRAPHIC & FILMIC DEPICTION OF WHERE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE LIVES: YOUR DINING ROOM. APRES DINNER. WITH YOUR GIRL. AND NEGRO "FRIENDS."

Dear MR. DAVE ZERO: A witness? To the fact of your faggotry? No. No you cannot get a witness, Mr. David. Because, on Planet SkullGame fantasies are preeminent and their fulfillment or lack thereof by any party in a position TO fulfill it especially up to and including it having nothing whatsoever to do with their own personal anus or person and that which of belonging to another sausage holder, should do so. By which I mean how can you NOT fulfill her multiple fuckstick fantasy?!?!? HOW CAN YOU NOT?!?!

You, sir, are a prick.

There's no reason why we can see that you would deny this. I mean would you deny it because you're afraid you're going to

LOSE HER? You're going to lose her anyway, snapper, if you don't come clear on this one. And unless she was a virgin when you all met you have to have known that there were other pipes in that pussy before yours stumbled along and started roaching everybody's boss.

FEEL SAD? Your old lady taking two in the chin makes you sad? You DO realize, of course, that this is not Bambi, don't you?

GET ANGRY? You mean as angry as WE are that you haven't figured out that this is a golden ticket you're holding that you're just about to blow because you've got some weirdly anachronistic understanding that absolutely for the rest of her life NO sausage that's not yours should pass her portal?

You have GOT to be fucking kidding.

Set that pussy free, boy. It will thank you for it. WE will thank you for it. She will thank you for it. The Internet will thank you for it and your photographic documentation of said event post-her eventually leaving you, and most importantly two Mexican bus boys, or two Negro athletes, or two tattooed guitar players will thank you for it.