IT'S MS. BELLE'S WORLD. YOU'RE JUST THERE TO HOLD THE PHONE

"IS MY ASS TOO FAT? HONESTLY. C'MON....YOU CAN TELL ME!!! OHMIGOD, IT IS ISN'T IT?!?!?

You ever have a conversation with an 18-year-old? I mean something other than "get in the car" or "shut up" or "don't tell nobody about this and I'll let you live?" Well, WE have... and despite the whole video fantasy fiction that these broads are all talking about YOUR cock and how best to drain it of its vital fluids, the reality is much closer to maybe something you'd see on TRL on MTV which, if you don't know, is exactly what you have when civilizations been scorched clean of anything of any sort of lasting significance and there's nothing left but CARSON DALY and kids who are too old to be in the high school they'd just recently dropped out of, who should really, if truth be told, be hustling up our double espresso on the goddamned double, Gunga Din.

Our point is this though: these "youth-oriented" shows are all talk and tease. And then....along comes BRANDI BELLE. Sure, she'll chatter on pointlessly, natter on purposelessly, mumble ceaselessly about how cute her feet are but in the end? Yeah. You got it: she sucks, gets fucked and slurps down more loads than you can shake a prick stick at.

So what does this mean?

With civilization hanging in the balance? You got it: if you are under 30 and are on TV you should have a cock somewhere in/on/or around you. Preferably one belonging to me or someone I know.

Thank you Brandi.