Calling all Fat Bastards!!!

WHEN COMPETITIVE EATING GOES WRONG. HORRIBLY WRONG.

The INTERNATIONAL FEDERATION OF COMPETITIVE EATING?

Yes. Indeed. An association for shit you probably do normally but here's a twist: guys going glutton and making bank doing so. Ain't that a fucking bitch? Guys getting international acclaim [in a delicate calculus this clearly equals some pussy of some kind] for being strangers to phrases like "no more marble cake for me, please," "diet," or "sit ups."

But just think of the further implications. The INTERNATIONAL FEDERATION OF CHRONIC MASTURBATORS....The LOCAL BROTHERHOOD OF UNEMPLOYED BEER DRINKERS...The NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF ASS-RAPING ALCOHOLICS WHO WHEN CAUGHT WILL BLAME IT ON "THE JEWS" [sorry, Heinrich]....the possibilities are endless.

So here we have a peek into the world of those for whom MORE is the guiding ethos...join them while they practice saying with a totally straight fucking face..."WE, are a NEW breed of athlete altogether...."

Sure. Sure you are.

Gimme a call when you're crapping in a colostomy bag as a result of a stunningly athletic case of ass rot.

IFOCE?

In more ways than fucking one.