HOW WET IS IT?
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"THIS LARGELY SUMS UP MY RELATIONSHIP TO THE ENTIRE WORLD," SAYS THE WILY MR. XTRA
EDITOR'S NOTE: MR. XTRA once said to us, apropos of nothing: "I fucked 200 girls last year." An amazing statement in, and of, itself. Especially for a guy who ain't in a wheelchair. I mean we still only get 52 [one a week] MAX. But he sticks by his claims. So's we figure he's paying pros. Which he denies. And then he comes clean. "OK, OK...some were pros." Well, to bag 200 he'd have to be making much more bank than we had ever guessed at. OK, OK, so some were pros, but that still leaves 182 unaccounted for. Too many for him to afford, and unless his personal magnetism has supernova'd him past CORNHOLIO's, something we severely doubt, there had to be a catch.
And then this "web review" shows up.
Probably his site and therefore probably also his wallet that's drawing the $11.97 yearly subscription fee. So he's got the cooze and the cash and hence: 200 pieces of pussy annually accrued while the rest of us sit at our kitchen tables in dirty underwear contemplating felonies against persons or property to pay this month's rent.
Forthwith: his joy, our penury.
IS IT WET? YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT IT IS.
In most Western societies the red-headed male, or "ginga", or "ginger twat", is an object of derision. Mocked and scolded for his pasty complexion, sand kicked in his face, and the certain promise of no pussy.
Is it just? No.
Is it fair? Not really.
But is it the order the universe? Fuck yeah.
And then this comes along.
The surest possible example of taking the ridiculous to the sublime, a ginger twat has relocated to Vietnam. Where being a ginga is met not with smirks but, apparently, multiple offers to have his surrounded-by-beastly-red-wisps-of-pube knob slobbered upon.
For, it seems, the girls of Ho Chi Minh view the red-headed stranger as exotic. Desirable. And according to their bios, these are regular girls. With regular jobs. Some with regular husbands. But all consenting to bestow their lips (upper and lower) upon the man with the flaming ringpiece.
Inspirational almost. We'll be purchasing red hair dye and requesting a job transfer forthwith. -- MR. "Laughing All The Way To The Bank" XTRA
