BITCH FIGHT!!! BITCH FIGHT!!!

BACKYARD TACKLES, TITS & CRIES OF "WANT SOME MORE OF THIS, BITCH?" COULDN'T GET MUCH MORE GODDAMNED BETTER THAN FUCKING THIS. NOT BY A STRETCH.

July nights back in Brooklyn, right after the Mister Softee truck rolled on through and had dispensed the obligatory creamed treats with the equally obligatory nickel bags you knew it was just a matter of time until the more than ever obligatory bitch battle'd break out. This was a battle you'd elbow your grandmother outta the way to see. Because, you see, these were the days of TUBE TOPS and TUBE TOPS, reefer, and hot New York nights meant one thing and one thing only: TITTY.

Oh yeah. It was the best of all possible things happening all at the same time: angry bitches, fighting bitches, and soon-to-be-naked bitches. Jesus fucking Christ.

Well this website (and they carry the ENTIRE line of low rent living video giving...from ILLEGAL FIGHTS 1 & 2 to a buncha other shit), with its tantalizing peeks into for-sale vids, gives you a glimpse into the world of women who whilst being pissed off about shoes, make up, money owed, boyfriends blowed, the whole fucking sausage, settle their differences the way god intended them to: with naked titties, nasty mouths, and someone getting the fuck beaten out of them.

I, in actual fact, could probably spend my whole life watching shit like this. MY. WHOLE. LIFE. Even if, and this is the most galling thing of all, the motherfuckers who "made" this vid are now just sitting around saying shit like "I ain't even made it outta 7th grade and I drive a Rolls!!!" Even if those bitches from rehab, Molly and Jeanette, were going to come over, tweaked, and fucking roll around on our living room floor for a winner-takes-all (especially if by all you mean $20 and our loads) cat fight.

Even if.

It's that fucking good.