...A Shake. And We Ain't Talking About Boats

ELBOW GREASE, HANDJOBBERY & THE SCIENTIFIC EXAMINATION OF DIGITAL-DONGLE MANIPULATIONS

Broads today.

You know there was a time when you could GET a decent handjob: A decent and expertly delivered jerk job where she licks her fucking palm and pulls your pole until you wing your wad type of deal.

Yes, there was a time when everybody was strolling in hancock park and happy to fucking be there. Rosie Palm and her five sisters!

Yes, yes, there was a time...and then people woke the fuck up, the 1950s ended and the average chick had to up the game or get stuck holding truck with Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses and repressed homosexuals.

You see sucking cock killed the handjob just as surely as MP3s killed CDs and CDs killed vinyl and while it's easier to get by (and get off) with a sloppily botched blowjob, a bad handjob is bad enough to rule it out as a field of endeavor excepting for the most insensitive and drunk of former President Bush's daughters.

What this means though is that beyond a shadow of a doubt IF you find someone who can yank a good yarn out of you they are WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD.

Hence, a whole fucking website devoted to it.

Genius.