A TAPE OR A FANTASTICAL BLACKMAIL SCHEME?

THAT AIN'T WORKING...THAT'S THE WA...WAIT A MINUTE...YES IT IS. YES, YES. DEFINITELY WORK. $20 AT A TIME. AND NOW NOT EVEN THAT. THANKS A MIL AMERICA.

Hookers. Caught on tape? Sounds like the fucking periodic vice swing that they launch every election year to justify police budgets and take a stand against so-called permissive liberalism. But gerrygoddamnedmandering aside let's do the math here: $26 for this fucking thing. Which is approximately 50 percent of a 50/50 from your average streetwalker.

The differences?

Well, no one's caught a case of The HIV from a DVD yet. [As far as we know. We mean shit happens in the Valley.]

Nor gotten busted with a DVD. [Unless you live in the American South.]

Or gotten their wallet lifted by one. [Possible exceptions: Larry Larry Larry (yes, that's his name)]

So, chalk up a headstart for the DVD.

But what of the erstwhile street ho? Will she be left to squander away her best earning years a second fuck fiddle to filmic representations of said fucking? Is this a mark of increasing anomie and the decline of direct experience? Shouldn't we just make it a practice to go to whores to give the poor working girl who's too cool for Wal-Mart a chance? Just ONE chance??!?!

Never does a man stand so tall as when he stoops to hand a 50 to a crack ho scrambling for the nickel he just dropped.

I mean God loves the artist, but God blesses the ho who's got her own.

A-fucking-men.