WILL SHE BE A DREAMBOAT? OR A TUG?

LET ME TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE AGAIN, GRAN. OOOO...YOU'RE RUNNING KIND OF HOT TONIGHT...

Things been kinda slow around The Skull what because of the holidays. People slogging egg nog, hanging mistletoe from the cameltoe, and balling the decks with holly's jollies and what not. Translation: we're going through an intense pussy dryspell hitting now, upward of THREE DAYS without NEW and FRESH and something vaguely resembling PUSSY.

So what to do?

Go straight to the online dating forum for old, desperate ho's. There is no shame in this. The only shame is in letting the spell continue unabated. I mean God forbid you should not fuck a new woman once a week. Anyways, my ad goes up. The responses come in. And next thing I know...I'm knuckle deep in a 52-year-old secretary.

Jesus I love these old broads.

I mean in their desperate struggle to the death with imaginary 20 year old sluts they've attained a near critical level of amazing fuckitude. Just what THE DOCTOR ordered on day FOUR of The Amazing Pussy Famine.

"Hoover me, turkey neck."

"Ohhhh...I love it when you treat me like a teenage slut."

Whatever.

But it worked for me. It'll work for you. Unless you got something against the papery thin, dry, smooth senior citizen skin that's so much a lasting part of it all.

Ahhhhhh....